eli. (:

Bye Bye;

2009-05-05T00:58:00.001+08:00

I've moved!
Relink :D

2009-04-29T22:54:00.003+08:00

Have you ever felt that your emotions are all convoluted?
Complex, coiled up and yet you don't know how to let them loose?

I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

School has been pretty much quite awesome.
I like this semester's modules better!
Much more applicable stuff are taught albeit the fact that the lecturers are a lil awful.
& The homework has been pretty okay. thus far. Nothing much. Nothing too little either.

This week has been no tuition week for me.
I think the thought of not teaching, taking a good hiatus was super enthralling.
I don't miss my kids. Okay hardly.
But it feels super divine to come home, sit in front of the computer, sleep soundly and just rest.
Or let alone read the newspaper. I haven't read them regularly in like 218373824 years!
I even missed 'URBAN' seriously!
I'll be half sad when the week comes to an end.
Seriously, sometimes I half contemplate what is my driving motivation to teach them.
I don't think its the money, then the kids? (probably) or is it just out of routine.
I don't feel as much satisfaction as before maybe because I'm not actually seeing the results,
or the fruits of my labour.

I think I feel like locking up my blog soon.
Or switching to wordpress.
Some thoughts are just too painful and too private for the whole world to see.

Had an awesome week playing for the past few days.
Yet to update. Yet to upload will do so soon.
and i wanna go jerusalem! :DDD december! (: i'll save up for you. HEH.

2009-04-25T09:13:00.009+08:00

You Are My Waking Dream, You're All Thats Real To Me
You Are The Magic In The World I See
You Are The Prayer Im Saying,
You Are In My Two My Names
You Are The Faith That Make Me Believe
Dreams On Fire, Higher and Higher

Passions Burning Ride On The Path
Once For, Forever Yours In Me, All Your Heart,
Dreams On Fire, Higher and Higher

You Are My Ocean Waves, You Are My Thought Each Day
You Are The Laughter From Childhood Games
You Are Things Further Down, You Are Where I Belong
You Are Making Me Feel In Every Song

Dreams On Fire, Higher and Higher,
Passions Burning
Ride On The Path,
Once For Forever Yours
In Me All Your Heart
Dreams On Fire, Higher and Higher

I really felt thankful yesterday.
As I walked, taking my time to pause and look and ponder.
I wanted to thank God.
For my family,
For my friends,
For my relatives,
For my work,
For my studies,
For the simple things in life that brings so much joy.
For a moment, a long moment, I felt deeply rested.
At peace. To see how far God has brought me.
To know that no matter how long I have to go.
I'll be fine. In God's hands.

2009-04-22T08:28:00.003+08:00

HELLO WORLD :D
GOODBYE LOVE.

Today's meeting was damn frustrating.
I could have screamed my eyeballs out.
Seriously, heard a lot of stuff, thought a lot of stuff, yet voiced little,
Or basically my brain overrun till I lost all train of thoughts.

Its seriously aggravating among the many issues.
I think the t-shirt thing is dumb. I mean what is so wrong with the RED T-SHIRT?
What is so bloody wrong that teachers can't wear it?
It handicaps you to wear it?

And I don't like it when the focus shifts like a pendulum bob doing an extremely quick oscillation.
I need something I believe in, and I feel like part of it is losing its essence.

& it feels like being a pawn on the chess board.
When will it be checkmate?

2009-04-13T21:45:00.007+08:00

爱到妥协

"No matter how busy or entwined your lives become, set a routine time for a "date" with each other exclusively. On the date, ask each other, "How are you? How are you really?" This should keep the relationship healthy."

and that didn't happen.

in the end its these small things that you remember,
its the little imperfections that make them perfect for you.
beautifully imperfect.

i think people never do learn.
CSS2009; Jarod winning? his voice hasn't even broken yet!
see shawn, he sounds less appealing than before.
what will happen to jarod eventually?
Jia Min should have won! Rachel too. (haha! im just being bias here)
but seriously! anyway he can sing better than me, so i shall stop here and keep quiet.
& i don't like aijia. pfft.

Ohya. and i feel like im signing my life away.
four days of lessons till mid may. HOW FAB. nevermind.
just count as more money to spend on shopping or saving.
whichever. but i realised i'm gonna miss cell now. urgh

byebye.

2009-04-12T13:05:00.004+08:00

Yesterday, on a supposed bright and sunny day, dearest and I headed out to Sentosa.
I was 10 mins late, and our bet, that whoever was late had to wear a bikini failed somewhat.
Hey! BUT. I went to collect the games okay. She's gonna say excuses again ;p
HEH. Had the usual Subway, and I realised I always seem to eat Subway when I'm out with her!
To be very honest, I didn't feel like eating Subway, but since she directed me there, once we stepped into Vivo, I relented!

Headed to Sentosa, after some looking around Vivo. Had a good time catching up, watching Michelle make bimbo comments, and playing games that are lame according to her.
(SURPRISE SURPRISE! SHE GOT BIMBO MOMENTS ONE LEH!)
Haha! Say a few hours later, Michelle pointed out the dark storm clouds, I thought it would be approximately half an hour till it rained, what nonsense, 10 minutes start pouring already,
and the beach cleared up in like 5 minutes? Amazing.

We were stuck under a shelter (not much shelter) for 10 minutes, before we decided to run/walk to the beach station. Mich! run halfway and she started walking. ZOMG that lazy fat pig pangseh me halfway while running. Then she fault me okay! Cos she say I picked today to come when its raining! & We stayed under the bigger shelter to play games again. Haha.

Finally after 1i292382738732 hours of queueing we could shower! HURRAH. And I didn't bring comb, so I walked around looking like a mad woman. Heh. And mich is more vainpot then me, complain hair not nice, complain didn't bring wax, complain that her shirt doesn't go with her berms, must wear jacket so can look cool and show off to ahem ahem! Haha.

I was super hopping late to meet qingwei after that okay! He waited like 1 and a half hour, cos he ended work early. OOPS. Birthday party-ed after that. I was quite hungry (correction: very hungry) , haha, but I don't know why I didn't take much food either. The cake was damn cute can. KEY SHAPED! hahahaahah! First time I saw a cake in this shape. And cake was pretty good. HAHA.and birthday guy had to wear a gold key necklace. Funny what 21 entails you. :D

Good Friday was pretty good. I think I could get used to the new cell. It'll take time though.
But there was super a lot of people. Mostly the AJ ones.
Thank God. His love is enough. His grace is enough.
He is enough.

Happy Easter Sunday! Bye bye.

2009-04-08T20:14:00.002+08:00

It just takes 1 student to kill the mood.
1 student.
but i can't seem to see if he's right or wrong?
It's just like there's no clear distinction or boundary.
All I see is frustration, attempt to learn (not a complete shutdown), yet disobedience.
Its very confusing.
& I shouted bad.
Can probably compete for the loudest sounding voice in the World's Guiness Record.
Maybe I shouldn't shout in future.
Must find a cold cruel way to silence them into obedience.
YEAH! must be effective.

HARRUMPH!

Chalet was helluva time of fun! :D
It was really lovely to meet the secondary school friends ( all together - well almost all)
The last time I saw them was a period of 3729864398273 years!

Day out with Pig was superbly awesome too,
the Bimbotic-ness in both of us really came out.
Not that its something to be proud of. HEHE!

My thoughts are getting disorientated.
Time to work.
Okay bye bye.

OH YA! A very cute dong min is sitting next to me drawing!
Bad guy and main characters. How innocent.

2009-04-03T00:51:00.003+08:00

Hello world.
I'm here to report one of the most ghastly thing of all.
ahdhewjdkwedkwedkewhdeidhkshjes!

Elizabeth
English/P3/Wednesday

% improvement
-33.33%

% results
52.00

absence
2

English/P4/Thursday

% improvement
-3.46%

% result
56.33

absence
2

These are all BELOW FLC'S STANDARDS.
so now I'm even performing below FLC' standards!
WHOA! I'm you know, amazed by myself.

All I see is red on my report card.
RED like some bloody massacre.
NOT A SINGLE THING IS FLC STANDARD CAN!

So I'm officially proven the SUCKIEST teacher in FLC because I'm below FLC's standards.
These is one of the most screwed up thing ever can!

I tried. I really did try my hardest, and try my best.
(okay maybe not 200% but 150.12837128371%!!!)

i really hate being emotional and typing such depressing stuff.
BUT REALLY!

2009-03-28T12:27:00.009+08:00

我不难过
这不算什么
只是为什么眼泪会流
我也不懂
就让我走
让我开始享受自由
回憶很多
你的影子也会充滿我生活
但我並不懦弱
你比谁都懂

BUT
my resolve is weak.
my heart aches.
i miss you already for a thousand and one things.

im glad though.
that we loved. and we lost.

松开你的手
离开你左右
我向前走
这会是我真正的解脱.

im actually using chinese to express my feelings of all things.
OMG.
im sick of my own emo shit.
Get me laughing gas. and the old eli. anytime.

2009-03-21T03:48:00.001+08:00

taking love for granted.. isn’t supposed to be the way to go.

My husband is an engineer. Since I met him, he was always an unflappable rock in my life.
I knew he always had his feet firmly planted on the ground, and it seemed that no matter what else went crazy, he would be the one constant.

Three years of romance, and two years of marriage later, I got tired. He was the most unromantic man I know. He never bought me flowers, he never surprised me, and nothing changed in our marriage. After some time, I finally found the courage to tell him that I wanted to leave him. He just sat there, speechless.

My heart froze … what kind of man was I married to that didn’t even know what to say to make me stay? After a while, he spoke, “What can I do to change your mind?” “I will stay if you can give me a good answer to this question,” I replied coldly. “If I asked for a flower that grew on a cliff, and you knew that getting it for me means certain death, would you get it for me?”

His face grew troubled. “Can I give you an answer tomorrow morning?” he asked. Hearing that kind of answer, my heart died. I knew that I could never be happy with a man who couldn’t even give me a answer straight away.

The next morning, when I woke up, he was missing. In the living room, under a warm glass of milk, was a note. My eyes grew misty as I read it . “Dear, I have my answer. I will never pick the flower for you if it meant certain death. But before you leave, I hope you can give me a chance to give you my reasons.”

“You will always sit in front of the computer and type about for the whole day, but every time you will end up in tears cause your formatting will always go all over the place… I need my fingers, to do the formatting for you, so your tears will become smiles.”

“You like to travel, but would always get lost … I need my eyes, so that I can bring you to the nicest places on earth.”

“Every time you leave the house, you would always forget your keys … I need my legs, so that I can run home to open the door for you.”

“You never knew how to take care of yourself… I need my hands to help you get rid of the pesky white hair you hate so much when you grow old, to trim your nails, to feed you.”

“So you see, that’s why I can’t pick the flower for you. Until I find someone who loves you more than I do, I will need my body to take care of you.”

“If you accept my reasons, then open the door, where I will be waiting with your favorite muffin.”

With tears streaming from my eyes, I opened the door, and there he stood, with a extremely worried look on his face. He still had nothing to say, but just stood there waving the packet he had in his hand in front of me.

And then I knew for a fact that I will never find another man who will ever love me as much as he does.

Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean that they don’t love you with all they have.

i still hear your voice but you're not really here
tell me im yours.

2009-03-18T12:13:00.009+08:00

IT fair on Saturday.
I got my camera. L201!

But there's no white. no white!
I want pure white. but there's some white at the sides! (self-consolation.heh!)
I sound so obssessed with white! Haha.

And IT fair was super squishy. I had to try hard to breathe.
No oxygen! But I realised how peanuts I was about IT.
That day was the first day I saw a gaming mouse.
I never knew such thingamees existed!
Look like some ugly alien. HEH.

Yesterday was A litter adventure @ ECP.
It was extremely exhausting.

My group of kids were like some bunch of monkeys.
Conversation throughout the race went like this:

Naomi: " Can we ride bike? "
Irene: " YEA! Can we ride bike? "
Matt: " I WANNA RIDE BIKE TOO!!!"
Nicholas: " Can we go big splash? My uncle works there. We get discounts! "
Me: "Yes. Only when we're done! Let's keep going"

Play it x10

Matt, Nicholas and Irene frowning over the spot the difference.
Me: Naomi, why don't you help? *tickles her*
Naomi: No. I don't want. So easy, they sure know the answer.
Matt: Naomi...Help us! We're a team!
Naomi: Don't want. I know the answers, but I'm not going to tell you!
Irene: NAOMI....I wanna ride bike....
Matt: AIYA! Naomi don't know only la.
Naomi: I know! I just don't want to tell you!

Play it x 5

Matt: Im thirsty! Can we get drinks?
Naomi: I want 100 plus!!!
Irene: I want coke or sprite. Naomi, why you want 100 plus?
Matt and Nicholas: YEA WE GET SPRITE.
Naomi: Then I don't want lor.
Irene: I want COKE!

Play it x5

Matt throws sand at Irene.
Irene yells: MATT THROW SAND AT ME!
Irene: My skirt's all wet!
Irene folds up skirt, revealing underwear.
Irene throws sand at Matt.
Sand flinging fight ensues and is promptly stopped.

Play it x1.

Haha. It was enjoyable though and they had fun.
But it was draining awfully draining.
I was super shagged. I didn't sleep through the night!
I think I ran on energiser bunnies on that two days!

G12 was awesome. Much better than last last's year.
I'm actually quite thankful for G12. I only snoozed once. and not for long.
Very encouraging. and the word very apt.
Thank God.

Delirious was very rock.
But kinda GROOVY & AWESOME after you adapt.
I really like History Maker; that song though.
Spoke volumes. Personally felt it was a very powerful song too.

Yes it's true.
I believe it.
I'm living for you.

I'm gonna be a history maker in this land.
I'm gonna be a speaker of truth to all mankind.
I'm gonna stand. I'm gonna run into your arms.

Today's sky was an awfully pretty purple.
SUPER GORGEOUS! (! and it wasn't edited)
one good thing about being awake at 6 plus. So pretty right!
Another thing to thank god for. (:

cloudless skies will break

2009-03-14T01:37:00.012+08:00

I think I'm getting a little too obsessed with BOF.
I swear it's getting unhealthy.
But KIM BUM is so cute. he's making me MELT (that is if I were a snowman. uhh snowwoman)
and I'm actually starting to want Jihoo and Jandi to get together!
I know. I have a love hate relationship with characters.
& I can't wait for the episodes where Gaeul and Yijung get together.
I want to swoon and see how he confesses!!!
Okay enough.

I think holidays are super unhealthy for me.
I realise I eat less than I usually do during holidays.
Like no routine = eat less. sleep a lot. work a lot.
Speaking of work. Should I take over the P5 class?
I'm not sure if I have time for drama if I do.
I want to get into drama. I really really want. Really Really Really want.
I actually feel like there's a rush in my blood and adrenaline when I act (in the past and now)
Okay sound like some psychopath.

I think my family's been having weird fruits lately.
See! This banana is like the smallest banana I've ever seen.

And my dad bought small apples too!
Probably 1 and a 1/2 size of a ping pong ball.
SMALL RIGHT? So cool!

And mummy agreed to sponsor me my camera! Haha. OLE!
and my expenses for Hong Kong trip. Or was it a loan?
But I think daddy will pay for the camera in the end. Though I actually feel bad.
But you know! It actually costs 200 ish to repair my Samsung Camera!
79.40 for consultation fee. and 100 plus for the barrel.
I feel so cheated and exploited. So I'm getting a new one!

I can't decide though.

I8?

or

L201?

HSBC's over. and all the events helping out thingamee.
I feel very sorry and regretful for not being able to do the last day.
Stupid cramps. I absolutely loathe periods.
I hope my MC is a legible explanation that Rajes will take cos it really was awful.
I think my pass is super cool. and the thingamees that we got on the bright side.

BOO! SCARY RIGHT? So disgusting! like some herbivore dinosaur!
Although dinosaurs don't use spoons!

Okay. G12 tomorrow.
Toodles.

i need to know i matter, that i'm not just a colleague.
won't you won't you open your heart?

2009-02-16T00:26:00.003+08:00

It's a long winding road down, but I know I'm not alone. I don't know how am I going to do it, how I'm going to find the strength, the determination to let go of what I have, of what I've treasured so much for so long. Its something precious something dear to me still, and IF or when its gone, its like a long gash in my heart. But I think it's time for me to do something, stop compromising, stop blinding myself, stop attempting to be oblivious and chosing to rationalise, and sweep cobwebs under the bed.
I deserve better. Do I? But I know no matter where this long winding road leads me, I know, I know that my God will never shortchange me.

So I won't be afraid to cry
To confess or question why
I won't hide the pain I feel
Now I know these wounds are how you heal
No I won't be afraid to cry
I don't want to live a lie
They will see Your Love is real
When I let you use my wounds to heal
These wounds are how you heal
You can use these wounds to heal

......' Cause when I'm weak You are strong in me

2009-02-09T23:52:00.002+08:00

The more I see of the world, the more am I dissatisfied with it;
and every day confirms my belief of the inconsistency of all human characters,
and of the little dependence that can be placed on the appearance of merit or sense.

Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

Two words.
How true.

2009-02-08T15:59:00.001+08:00

I feel quite excited (okay quite's an understatement)
I am excited about our business presentation coming tuesday.
YEAH MAN!
I feel totally hyped up about it.
Imagine if it was Steve Jobs.
& I'm really glad that the group decided to be different!

Oh yeah! I've found the most awesome-est thing ever.
I FOUND AUDIOBOOKS!
Hoohoo! I can afford not to lug these storybooks around momentarily! (:
But the selection's limited. But oh well! it's still AUDIO BOOOKSSS! ;D

2009-01-25T22:42:00.003+08:00

Bakerzin's chocolate cake is super fab!!!
OMG.

I like it when Christon and I are away from the centre,
making a deliberate effort not to talk about work and launch into some serious discussion.
It makes us feels less colleague-ish I guess.
More like a relationship than what a working relationship entails.
Woohoo! (: Today's a good day.
I could hang on just for moments like these.

Oh ya: sidenote; mich lee!
I saw our nong nong distant relative and my ex classmate.
SAMUEL -whats his surname i forgot is it chan?-
Anyway, i spotted him at bishan int. pda-ing, suffocating his unwilling girlfriend.
Haha! ;D he hasn't changed much, apart from braces.
Laughs

& Saman's back!!! (:

2009-01-23T03:20:00.001+08:00

I feel partially inclined to strangle myself.
I just made a stupid mistake on the elearning tutorial which cost me 10 marks.
Pfft.

2009-01-17T00:41:00.003+08:00

Was talking to Xinlei whether we're thankful for our classmates.
Her reaction was neutral, and that she feels closer to her club mates than our classmates.
I was quite surprised at her response, I guess I shouldn't be.
I don't know, or I can't explain why I'm so hesitant when I'm meeting some of the classmates.
I can't explain why I can co exist and co function with them for close to a year.
and yet feel like strangers, when our conversations are not as awkward,
but nevertheless awkward. I doubt I've created any huge lasting friendships in poly.
Why? I'd wonder. Because I've become too absorbed in my work?
Or because I simply don't want to make friends?

give me more loving then i've ever had.
make it all better when i'm feeling sad.
tell me that i'm special even when i know i'm not.
make me feel good when i hurt so bad.
tell me things you never even tell your closest friends.

I think today's text message made me very happy.
I wonder why.

your peace you give. your peace i'll receive

2009-01-02T00:00:00.001+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Feeling like I know the words
Of a song I have not wrote
A song of Love, A song of Hope
A song that guides me down this road
A snowflake falls unto my cheek
As I wake up from a distant sleep
I stand up dazed as I look around
What is this place that I have found?

The wind it chills as it fills the sky
The neighbors smile as I walk by
It is all so calm in this cold night air
Where the people sing without care
Though I know not where I step
I follow You untïl the death
Though I know not where I step
I follow You..

2008-12-29T00:34:00.002+08:00

I'm really glad I went Cambodia.
It's been my part dream to do overseas C.I.P since goodness knows how long.
And right now I'd say its just the beginning, not the end of an overseas C.I.P.

In a way, the things happening in Cambodia got me thinking.

You know, the people there,
LOVE EDUCATION, they LOVE school. really LOVE.
its their ticket out of poverty, a hope, a better future.
and its also a yearning, a hunger to learn.

and its sad, how not everyone gets the opportunity to learn.
During reflection, someone mentioned that the government sets up a system for them to FAIL.
It's quite a strong word, albeit a true one.
You gotta pay to take the exams, you gotta pay to be tutored for the exams,
You gotta pay to pass well, to be able to cheat and even to get your papers marked.
When life's a struggle for you ,to even fill your stomachs each day,
how would one find the money or strength to study.

Still, I derived 2 things from their eagerness to learn.

1) Are our hearts tender and teachable?
Or at least, how about mine?
Is it one, thats fresh, open and willing to receive, or have I lost my heads up in the clouds?

2) Have we become too complacent, taking things for granted?
I remember all of us saying how much more we'd treasure going to school in cambodia.
But I clearly remember hearing myself moaning and groaning the fact that school's starting
TOMORROW with Xinlei and Joanne when I got back a day or two later.
Where does this leave me? No different from where I started off?
Shouldn't I be enthusiastic?
Like HURRAH! School! I have a laptop! whereas they've got fat desktops
and we have air-conditioned classrooms while they've got fans.
And look at me. just look at myself. coming back to Singapore and saying OH NO!
so hdehwuihdjwehhe frustrating! School's starting so soon!

At the rubbish dump, the sight was really something, so were the slums.
Witnessing all these on television is entirely different from being there physically seeing it.
Its mountains and mountains of rubbish. It could have been a mini-Bukit Timah.
they were setting fire to it, why because its too high, and rubbish has all piled up for too long.
You see kids as young as 3 years old collecting rubbish.
Lugging huge bags of worthless nothings.

If I hear any Singaporean tell me how worried or stressed they are in future,
I'd probably tell them to wake up and do some self examination.
At least I needn't worry about having enough food to eat. or wondering whether I'd die.
Or will I make enough money selling the bags of rubbish for USD0.25.

I shuddered in horror, when I saw the slums, and I admit, I tiptoed through it.
Tin plates welded together, lots of rubbish on the floor.
Used dirty trodden rugs. Old pots and pans are the sparse furnitures of their homes.

And the contradiction of it all?
There's a MANSION in front of the slum, covering it.
It's like how we often deceive ourselves, self deception
of how perfect we are on the outside, but when you look in lets face it
we're ugly.

I used to think I was a semi-polished gem.
But lets face it, I'm ugly inside. God I really need a heart transformation.

And what Liren said got me thinking.
At the rubbish dump, there's so many stuff.
Used sim cards, clothes, cardboards, refridgerators, toys, etc.
But all these stuff, are worthless.
The irony, there's everything there, pretty much everything can be found,
yet its all worthless nothings.

How about you?
We can pretty much say, we have everything
but are your everything(s) worthless nothings?
Have we been chasing for things that are worthless?
What do you value? Is it everything yet nothing?

Are we scavengers? Searching for stuff that are worthless?
Are we gonna spend the rest of our lives chasing things that are worthless?
Let's face it. In Singapore, it's easy to lose ourselves in our attempt to be the motivated individuals we are chasing for what we want, yet have we found nothing instead?

Next, I'm happy with what I have for Christmas,
I got my ipod and a pair of really good earpiece, plus lots of ning ning nong nongs (jewellery)
I'd say they'd add up to $1,000.
And then I wonder to myself. 1,000 would probably be the 6 months plus salary of a waiter.
Just a normal waiter, and they're the luckier ones with a job.
This could probably feed an entire family for a year!
Then i reflect on the cost of my presents,
the cost of my loved ones presents,
and how I went shopping and spent money like drinking water when I came back.
And I wonder Oh what have I done.
Am I really going to remain the same? Yet where do I start to change?

And I really admire the Cambodians,
that they are super friendly, the kids they aren't like the Singaporeans one either.
You know, the Cambodians they really can love people without barriers.
They welcome you with open arms, I can honestly say I haven't met one who isn't friendly.
I like it how they're so open and forthcoming.
How they love without being expected to be loved back.
How they smile so easily and freely.
You know, I think as we grow older, we have a barrier,
we set up our own wall, around our hearts,
then when someone wants to enter, we need to remove the bricks first,
it takes time, some longer, some shorter.
But then for them, there're no bricks.
Is there a wall around your heart?
I used to think I could love, I could love so freely, that one capacity God gave me was to love.
But no, I was proven wrong, come on I feel scornful of myself ever thinking that.

And seriously, they love each other.
You see older sisters, not very old themselves probably 10-17
tottering their younger siblings. See Singaporean kids doing that?
Fat hope.
They look out for them, and cherish them, kiss them, pat them, pick them up when they cry.
In turn their younger siblings love them.
Do you love your siblings the same way?
I don't have any so I'd never know how it feels.
But do you love your family, and friends the same way?
I can say my love for them is nothing compared to those of the Cambodians.

The next, during the village stay (OMG),
we stayed in the church building, with hard cold marble floor, and little warmth.
Woke up to roosters crowing since 4am every few minutes.
Opened my eyes and ears to the sound of them BLARING christian songs at 6am.
(The pastor's house is just next door) And the kids were tottering horns, I don't know what is it,
but it amplifies the music around the village, and the pastor's house is next door.
so its TERRIBLY LOUD.
then we had church service after that.
They give praises and sing songs of worship in loud voices,
unrestrained, giving their all.
& I wonder, how does one thank God in this circumstance?
What would happen if it were me? I'd probably ask god why me like a trizillion time.
The statement, when you have nothing, God becomes your everything holds true to my heart.
And I think I'm seriously lukewarm as I continue doing some self reflecting.

These are pretty much my thoughts during the trip.
Photos and details will be up later.

I feel broken in a way, like it'd take years, that whatever seeds I'm planting in Cambodia
requires years to transform the nation.
I feel sorry in a sense, sorry for myself.
I think my head's been up in the clouds for long enough this year.
I admit, I feel good about what has been done this year.
But let me face it, my self transformation is far from complete.
I pray that I'll change, and change, to be who God wants me to be,
someone who is teachable, who loves freely, who places what she values, in worthy treasures.
Not worthless treasures.
I want to be a greater woman, a greater woman after God's heart.

It's just the beginning.
It's a long way down the road, but Thank God for this opportunity.
It was difficult going alone, it was difficult saying yes,
despite feeling like backing out at the last minute.
But I can say I don't regret it.
The friendship built, the seeds planted, the lessons learnt.
I know its just a start, a transformation of a nation, and of myself within.
Thank God for that.

2008-12-12T01:36:00.001+08:00

As strong as you were, tender you go.
I'm watching you breathing for the last time.
A song for your heart, but when it is quiet,
I know what it means and I'll carry you home.
I'll carry you home.

2008-12-03T23:57:00.002+08:00

If this is what it means to be broken....
I don't know how to describe this kind of helplessness.
But I know its a kind of helplessness knowing my human strength is insufficient.
Knowing I can do nothing. ABSOLUTE NOTHING.
Nothing's in my power.

Because now I know I've got nothing,
Jesus you are my Everything.

2008-12-02T22:47:00.003+08:00

Yoghurt! I'm totally not concentrating on studying now.

Maybe its the fact that I'm complacent that the paper's at 3.30 tomorrow!

I think tests can be a bad thing. I keep shoving food into my mouth whilst studying.

Speaking about food, after examining my eating habits at home

(that shows how long I haven't been spending time at home)

mummy thinks I'm crazy over dairy products,

mangoes, peaches, bananas, watermelons and prawns.

And I can't differentiate mango and peach in my yoghurt.

Must have been something wrong with my tongue.

You know, this week really feels sooo good.

I mean I've always liked spending time at the centre,

cos it is enjoyable with the company and the kids,

but then again I feel happy not spending time at the centre too!
But I think I'll get bored living my current lifestyle after a short while.

I'm happy though! (:

2008-12-02T00:37:00.004+08:00

& Hola! Its study time!
I think this week's gonna pass in the blink of an eye!
and it'd be hols!
but booo holidays!
I realised I've got pretty much stuff to organise that I've shoved under the shelf (figuratively speaking) till after the exams. Lets seeeee.....

I've got to..
1) Meet up and catch up with people I've mia-ed on (Mich Chen! Jolyn! etc.)
2) Set up Christmas tree.
3) Shop for Christmas presents.
4) Wrap and decorate the family's loot of Christmas presents.
5) Projects and Assignments
6) Prepare for Cambodia trip.
7) Cambodia trip chalet
8) Cambodia.
9) Birthday parties to celebrate (FLC!)
10) Christmas party and C.I.P to handle. Friends! Compassion
11) Friends! Compassion Post Evalaution
12) Friends! Compassion Touching Lives Board
(I swear Willis's gonna wring my neck if I don't complete this before I head to cambodia)
13) Pack my room.
14) Shopping and movie with Rene.
15) OH! matthew and friends! party.
16) Daybreak methodist lessons.
17) Tuition (Oh! I forgot that not teaching for 10 days means a severe paycut. wails ): )

See what I mean!
Its suffocating yet relieving to see it all typed out in black and white.
and all this has to be done in a span of 3 weeks.
cambodia trip's sucking out 10 days of it already
so I'm left with 11.
and then It'd be a new year.
I'm not sure I'm ready to say goodbyes yet.

2008-11-30T02:33:00.008+08:00

"The Love of heaven makes one heavenly"
-Shakespeare

I realised how much delicious food I've been eating this entire year,

if I were to list it all out in a list, i'd die typing it or maybe die from the amount of calories i gained from them. But oh well if I'm happy who cares if I'm fat.

胖也要胖得可爱!

I'm satisfied (:

Haha I think I'm much more happier with good food than pretty clothes.

(which was the essential debate between rene and I)

Anyway here are the pictures of the more recent food that rene and I have been pigging out.

I realised something, I keep pigging out on good food the most when I'm with rene,

yes there are the bits and pieces with christon, and the random friends, and saman,

but rene, it seems like you're my EATING AND SHOPPING BUDDY!!!

HURH HURH! a lot right in the last span of 1 month, and i think i missed out some, cos either i was too greedy and started eating immediately or it simply got lost among all the food photos! (:

and I think I realised what was wrong with my emo streak lately,

I think I WAS going through the I'm angry with everyone and the world phase.

I know. Like HAH HAH. Eli doing that?

Well, the noisiest people have things they keep inside sometimes.

(Lucien? It isn't always the quietest ones...)

I think I need to learn to forgive myself, yes I haven't forgiven myself

for screwing up my own expectations, the fact that I couldn't get into add diploma.

I mean sometimes I really ask God why?

Like my dreams or aspirations don't always turn out the way I want them to.

i.e I wanted to get into cedar sec, back in primary school, I didn't end up there.

i.e. I wanted to be some amazing topper of o level cohort or something (HAHA!)

and I didn't. My results were good enough, good enough, not amazing but good enough.

i.e. I wanted to go JC since goodness knows when and goodness why, but interest overtook what I dreamt of, and I ended up here in events something that I love ultimately.

i.e. I wanted to get add diploma, in poly if I got into poly and jc, back when I was sec 3.

See I'm not there again.

Am I being unrealistic? Or?

But somehow I thank God. That even though I never ended up in all those places I dreamt of,

I ended up somewhere, somewhere I'm happy at and God provides me with more than enough.

Or even better. Somehow his plans turn out excellently.

I think I got frustrated with being at FLC! lately because I feel like it has sucked up all my time,

I've got no time for me, myself, and what I want to do or enjoy to do, I'm happy there, but just as to quote " too much of a good thing can be a bad thing " and I guess its my personal choice, of how much effort to put in, and I choosed it, so serve you right, Eli.

Anyway, MSTs are here.

Goodluck people!

Then...after that, I can shop for CHRISTMAS. HOOORAHHHH!!!! ;DDD

hahahaha i love giving, and oh yea setting up christmas tree.

I bought new lightings and decorations for the christmas tree. *CLAPS*
then I'm off to Cambodia.

One of my dreams! God thank you for realising this one. (:

I'm so glad I got to talk to saman today!

(: She says things I don't like to hear.

But yeah She's one damn awesome bbf!

2008-11-25T11:19:00.004+08:00

IM GLEEFUL! (:

laughs
Twilight's gonna be onscreen soon. YAY! ;D
and I'm gonna see robert pattinson on screen. (RENE! i'll wait for you to watch together)
I like high cheekbones! ;D although its technically impossible to find them in asian faces.
But I don't like the fact he goes unshaven, its not all that sexy, like as if he just woke up in the morning and had a hangover.

But enough of him anyway.
I'm off to mug for msts.
the horror!

2008-11-23T02:54:00.002+08:00

and when the crunch comes.
what would you do?

This time, I feel like giving up, letting go.
Just washing my hands off everything I'm doing. (except studies & church)
I want to live my teenage life.
I feel as if I'm wasting it away, being someone I'm not.
Someone mature, someone who leads, I'm not sure if I'm ready.
Its different.

2008-11-20T01:09:00.003+08:00

The real ones who love you tell you things you need to hear, even though they know you won't like to hear it.

2008-11-16T11:18:00.003+08:00

Love sought is good, but giv'n unsought is better

when the world gets too loud, too suffocating, too tiring.
i'll retreat into god's peace.
His grace is sufficient.
(I sound like im trying to convince myself .)

2008-11-04T12:00:00.002+08:00

Oh my blog's FINALLY refreshed.
& its no longer stale.

Life's been hectic.
& I seriously need to resume blogging again.
It helps me process my train of thoughts.

& its quite amazing how yesterday,
seemingly for no particular reason,
I thought of Cheong Hui Shan, indeed people come and go,
this memory seems particularly clear to me;
we met up to do an art project,drinking HL milk along the way,
Life was so blissfully simple then, we ran around under the sun, plucked yellow flowers from the garden, imagine us severing the flowers from their roots, re-planting them into the soil in clumps, into our very own garden. Needless to say, the flowers perished.
Just like the short-lived term of that friendship.

Oh Yea. We even plucked out some flowers for our respective mummy, and i remembered heading home, retrieving the flowers from my pocket and realising that they've turned brown.
Silly me.

Speaking of mummy,
I think sometimes mummy's just so cute.
We traded off last night, that I would play facebook's word challenge for her,
if she makes me food to eat ;D YAY!

& lots of outings with rene,
and things to update on (:

2008-09-18T03:23:00.000+08:00

It's a touch when I feel bad
It's a smile when I get mad
All the little things I am
Everyday I love you

2008-09-17T00:55:00.003+08:00

and bring me back.

i can't say how mortified I am.
god brought me back to my first fervent love for him.
i remember myself then.
the eager yearning,
being thirsty,
i want it all back.
i want my first love for him.

im coming back.
i really am.

i should stab myself.probably

2008-09-12T00:48:00.002+08:00

Bonding time with mum was whoopishly yay-ish great! (:
Its been eons of months since I last went shopping with her,
and that's very long you know!
& Surprisingly I didn't spend a single cent, maxing out daddy's credit card buying clothes with mummy. HAR HAR! ;DD
But thats bad now cos I know I need clothes like period. (this sounds damn bimbo)
Plus plus!!!

I've got a new teaching job. (What's new?)
Hur Hur. I passed the provisional approval of being a relief teacher, HUR HUR
I really wonder how I'll cope, and I'm feeling EXTREMELY apprehensive and nervous about it,
like hudheuihdihjkshjs!!! I'm going to see an entire half of the school population that I know!!! OHMIGOSH D; What if i teach the wrong thing? What if the class doesn't listen to me?
What if I meet frankenstein kids that walk out of a nightmare?
What if ...
What if...
UGH! oh mi gosh! but thank god (: I GOT IT!!! ;DD YAY!

I'm gonna update on touch.drama soon! ;D
Touch.drama was awesomest! (:

2008-09-05T01:58:00.002+08:00

L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one I see
V is very, very extraordinary
E is even more than anyone that you adore can
Love is all that I can give to you
Love is more than just a game for two
Two in love can make it
Take my heart and please don't break it
Love was made for me and you

Finally I can go into details about the memorable thingamees in my life now.
I know its very outdated can all of them probably took place in Jul and Aug!

anyway
Jinwen's birthday celebration; Qingwei, Joyce and I strolled the entire Far East Plaza
to look for Show's shop. Its terribly awfully difficult to find, and we walked the entire Far East from the fourth floor to the 1st floor, thankfully we managed to find it when we reached the first floor (when I shop do remind me never to start from the top down!) Tada! The awfully inconspicuous shop was hidden at some ulu corner, but I agree that the design's pretty unique.
We bought her the t-shirt that she wanted and koped lots of name cards.

I've no idea why Im commenting on the service, but out of the 2 shop assistants, one was from taiwan and the other singapore, the difference in their service, the shop assistant from taiwan would be what I would clearly call customer oriented. Seriously, whenever you wonder why people complain about the state of Singapore's customer service, just take a look at the service in other countries.

But then I don't fully blame all Singapore shop assistants for their predicament of grudgingly serving customers, I don't like doing sales, its awfully awfully awfully boring. Haha! Seriously during my time in Fashion.Lab I think I slacked, slept, ate and talked more than I ever did work. Oh and apart from folding clothes to keep myself awake. My "folding clothes" skills are very intact. (I digress again!)

Back to Jinwen's birthday, we headed to starbucks after that. Coffee and croissant was LOVE. It was good catching up with joyce and qingwei, then Rene came, you know that kuku rene ar! Definitely gets lost in orchard. teehee. Then we met Jinwen at Orchard Cine,before that rene and I went to get Jinwen's surprise cake!

;D met her at cine foodcourt, presented to her our presents, We passed her hamster's food initially, saying its a present from all the peepos of FLC! and us, and she was supposed to collect the hamsters from FLC! hahaha then we twisted the story, and said that the cutie Ham Hams are in the Stage paper bag! ;D I started coo-ing to them and continued my long tale. hahaha! Until we felt like she fell for it, then did we allow her to open the present, and she squealed! Her expression is PRICELESS seriously. It was worth it. And to digress. Sarah (the hammie not the tutor has given birth to 3 hamsters seriously in total she has given to 8+6+3 = 17 hamsters) She's like a sow! Hee. Then shermaine and john (is that his name? uh her bf) came and we had dinner. After which rene and I proceeded to the supposed "toilet" to light the candle and bring over the cake. ;D sang birthday song loudly for her! haha! who cares if it was embarassing....After which, shermaine and john went off, and we went to watch wedding daze, its a terribly dumb plot, the just for laugh kinds, and there were some sexual references which I had absolutely no understanding of it, but it was okay i guess, despite the very dumb plot, let me emphasise very dumb plot.

Thus came the end of jinwen's birthday celebration! (: And I love those lovelies!

Next was NDP, I think that day was pretty eventful and uneventful, I was late, very late, I think I woke up at 11 or 11.30 when I was supposed to assemble at 12! Eep! I know very irresponsible, I don't remember what I was doing the night before either! Thus I cabbed, then I dropped my wallet when I was running from the cab to the bus. URGH. the best thing was I didn't realise until 7 plus, when a POLICE OFFICER called me. I went OMG! what did I do ? Im going to jail? I couldn't believe my ears when I found out my wallet was with them!

Haha. Its very cartoon, then I cried, cos my wallet's at some other far end of Singapore, then I called Christon to go with me to get my wallet, he refused to believe I lost my wallet, and even got Mok Mok to test me, even Huixin's convincing made no difference, and finally after much persuasion he got it. Sidetrack!

NDP was really high and all, as in it was worthwile going through weeks of tormenting hours having training and all, it was worth the atmosphere, the D' DAY thing! It was great. Too bad I couldn't stay for the ppp, and chionged too uhh bukit don't know what, was it bukit gombak or what?

The police officer laughed at me when I went to collect my card you know! He went hahahaha! you just came from NDP? *trails with more laughter* and it was my first experience being in a police station, apart from the time i was at a civil defence force station cos I lost my phone! Notice how often I lose my stuff! And all turned out well in the end. THANK GOD!

Christon's family gathering; It wasn't that much of a bundle of nerves for me as it was when I first met his parents. His dad found me homely then, I wonder if he still thinks the same way! The mood and the atmosphere was so much better, and seriously I think his brother isn't as bad leh, but I'm not the one who is cooped in the same room trying to tahan his bad habits so I guess I'm not in the right position to comment. His uncles and aunties are really friendly! Some of them touched his face and exclaimed " aiyo DingXiong ar!! You've grown up!! " to which Christon was dismayed cos his face felt itchy after that! Food was okay-ish and the uncles and aunties kept teasing us, it was so awkward,and the usual question "so how did you all meet?" but thank god that Christon was by my side, so it made it much better. Plus his cousins are terribly adorable! The young ones, the lil kids, whoa they're very heavy to carry you know!!!! ;D hahaha. and the slightly older ones, who insisted we listened to them and captured us and ordered us to follow their instructions, trailing after us all the while. I would say I was quite relieved at how it turned out (: and I'm glad for the company!

Joyce and Michelle's birthday;

A birthday celebration was organised for her, met her at tpy mac's and gave her her presents (: headed to MOS to slack, and talk a lil crap while waiting for the rest to gather, before Rene and I had to head to Hougang for cell. Sorry Joyce that it wasn't much! But still, there was cake after that and I believe we had fun meeting up and catching up with the rest of the group!!!

Mich came back for cell! YAY!!! ;DDD jubilantly excited, surprised her with a cake, a balloon and a cookie! ;D I'm not sure if she was surprised cos mich is always mi mi yan and I can't tell when she's surprised okay maybe I can. But still I'm so glad she's back. *claps*

Surprising JUL; I thought it was a far fetched idea thanking her by crashing NTU with Huixin and Jianming and surprising her with the board, but it was worth it (: for her plastered on forever smile, plus the good food after that!

Christon's birthday; WAHH! Finally after 2-3 weeks of preparation, everything could be planned and carried out. On Friday, he was kinda moody and suffocated cos of some of our centre's matters, plus it was late, and he almost didn't turn up for his surprise birthday celebration! I was quite upset and annoyed then cos I rushed to AMK ave 10 to collect his favourite Pine Garden cake, plus the time taken to look for the company's present to him, and the compilation of well wishes from the centre. Thank God! All of the centre's peepos started calling him, giving him random excuses to get him to come. The teaching workshop ended late, and it kinda shocked me that when I went out Christon was already there. As expected he was looking for his presents, plus JK's friends popped by too. So we shocked him with this really sinple butter cake, that due to the centre budgeting we got him a small cake, and FLC tradition blow out candles by nose. haha! Then we got him to close his eyes and have at least one bite, then came along the Reaall cake.So he had to make a wish not related to the centre, results, work, family, and must be of entertainment value,it was so pressurising and terribly embarrassing but really sweet, funny how so many emotions can be combined together, he wishes to marry me! haha, then we had cake and homed.

The next day which is his REAL BIRTHDAY, he had a treasure hunt! in which he had to find all his presents, thanks lovelies for the help! Haha I thought it interesting but he found my presents predictable, and then I made a digital card, cos I figured my handmade ones always end up in some drawer! Haha. Anyway he was touched!!! (: which was good, considering his such a dirty, pigheaded, stubborn, unemotional person. Haha! He said although I can't cry but I'm really touched. Then we had a good dinner (: GOOD FOOD! which made him very happy! I love it when he smiles can! and when he looks so child-like. heh! It was a great birthday celebration and I'm pleased!

Two days ago, I heard the soppiest things ever, but I'm touched ((:

and anyway, today's RENE'S BIRTHDAY

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEARIE!!! ;D

2008-09-01T02:49:00.002+08:00

Friday & Saturday was the awesome-est. (;
Birthday surprise went well!
Birthday treasure hunt went well!
And Birthday dinner went well!
& I love my boyfriend reason #100001: he looks so child-like!

2008-08-26T23:14:00.003+08:00

you know the feeling of having so much to say,but not knowing what to say
and where to start and in the end i've decided not to say anything?

well thats exactly how i feel now.
i think im too tired so im spouting random nonsense.
Bleah bee bloo blehh

thank god.

2008-08-15T01:12:00.002+08:00

My drawing test. Ahhh I feel so frustrated....Yes yes. I don't know how to draw the isometric drawing,the perspective i could do half,the architectural drawing (: I could do it!and same for the theory! heh.
ARGH. and god, please bless with me a B.
I'll leave the rest in your hands...
But thank god, it wasn't that bad. (right?)

so one down! 4 more to go.
and tomorrow's IT. I think how one grades IT is subjective.
As in one person's treasure might be another person trash, so im gonna pray real hard, that whatever treasure that's gonna be created tomorrow, will not be Mr. Chow's trash.Haha!

and I'm feeling so absent minded. I need to start reminding myself of what to do, and write down when I have extra lessons with my kiddos!

sat - whole day out with saman + secret mission!
sun - lessons, service, lessons, study for law.
mon - hand up portfolio with xinlei (: and meet up with doreen,
secret mission! study for law!
tues - study for law! lessons with tsai wei. study for law!
wed - study for law! law exam.
thurs - nuahh at saman's house and secret mission!
friday - study for f&c and materials. meetup with huixin and simin?!
cg, teacher's training ws.
saturday - motivation tea appreciation/studying. christon's mum family gathering.
sunday - service + planning for lessons.

and to my kiddos, YOU ALL HAVE TO WORK HARD OKAY! ;DDD
i know the probability of you all seeing it is like negative x 100.
or maybe kaypoh jacqueline or veronica (psst veronica im only referring to jaccuchi about the kaypoh part) who might read this. ( i don't teach them )

I've really seen you kiddos improve a lot, and to see you all finally LOVE LEARNING. I'm happy (: very happy. And its okay, if you guys don't meet your expectations, its the journey that matters! (:

and to the p-sixes. YOU GUYS CHIONG FOR PRELIMS YEAH!

_____(inserts) days to PSLE!

;D

sidenote:
I miss michelle chen shi yun hope po po.
I miss you loads and loads and loads and loads and loads.
:x smucks! meet up with you soon (:

will update about the lovely today tomorrow.

2008-08-11T01:21:00.002+08:00

NDP'08 is over!
and its the awesome-est ever.
i guess i'll really miss them all. even though its tiring,
and goodness knows how many times i've complained about it,
& how much time its taking up. and how much i can do if theres no ndp!
i think i'll miss them all ):
the craziness and wackiness of elsinta,and jianming.
the gentleness of candy and cheryl.
the valuable high-together times with catherine.
the sweetness of joreen, and meiling.
the leadership of chuanlian,and juli,and candy!
plus dearest huixin! :D my partner in crime.

But its just the beginning.
and im so glad i joined NDP when candy asked.
It's really worth it! (:

Are villians, people who merely want to be accepted by society?
And when the world turns their back on them, is it when darkness falls?
The Dark Knight made me ponder that.
I think right now, theres a greater need to be accepted by society.
We even conform to it. Whether its in a good way, or in a bad way,
depending on which perspective you see it from.

and lately I've been thinking more and more, that people don't appear to be who they are. yes. i know i can be superficial at times, and i really dislike that, but look, i've discovered that a lot of people don't really appear the way they are. for eg. sarah teo, hah yes dearie you're in this post, initially i was a little reserved towards you, cos i felt you were intimidating. yes laugh! but after awhile i realised you're as crazy as me! and eg. the so called bim in my class, she's just not a good working partner and she just doesn't rub off well on me, that doesn't give me sufficient reason to dislike her right.

okay im just thinking.
anyway i've really got loads to update on.
soon enough.

2008-08-07T00:49:00.003+08:00

When times are good, be happy;
but when times are bad, consider:
God has made the one as well as the other.
Therefore, a man cannot discover anything about his future.

2008-08-07T00:49:00.002+08:00

When times are good, be happy;
but when times are bad, consider:
God has made the one as well as the other.
Therefore, a man cannot discover anything about his future.

Ecclesiastes 7:14

2008-08-04T05:29:00.001+08:00

But if you wanna cry,
cry on my shoulder.
If you need someone who cares for you.
If you feel inside your heart gets colder.
Yes, I'll show you what real love can do.

2008-07-14T14:15:00.004+08:00

i think sometimes i whine too much.

FULLSTOP.

2008-07-10T06:34:00.001+08:00

SAMAN is BACK (:
YAY! *HOPS AROUND*

2008-07-02T13:34:00.004+08:00

Reminder to self!

Complete assignment 01B event exp
~~Complete assignment 02 event exp~~
Complete presentation for CD
Complete tutorial for law. case study against david rasif
~~Complete tutorial for materials~~
Complete project for materials
~~Complete 2 tutorials for IT~~
~~Complete 3 tutorials for drawing~~ (1)
Complete 1 tutorial for facilities and construction.
Send Mr. Chin list of supporting people.

26 july racial harmony day.
Countdown 24 days!

2008-07-01T01:08:00.004+08:00

Im so thankful MONDAY is over. The rest of the week feels so much more lighter.
Okay not really,considering the no. of assignments and projects due.
But phew. Really God is so good, so good,
Presentation for design and drawing was today, at 5:00am on a Monday morning, I had only completed 5 slides of the project. I wanted to sleep till 5.30 to get some shut eye. but i slept till 6am which is wake up time considering school starts at 8 on monday.
I KNOW; TORTURE! ):
I sleepily completed tutorial in the morning, I was totally sleep writing! & I had a very adequate rest during material tut, hahah cos mr. john chan was giving extra lessons. ;D but I forgot to complete the slide again!
Wanted to head home cos
a) I wasn't feeling well.
b) I wanted to escape.
Haha I know cowardly, but I decided to stay.
Completed and chiong-ed finished the project in about 1 hour and a half. YEAP!
& Im glad to say my group did a great job (:
Even though we are slacky, and I do get pissed for that, we did well!

Now I'm trying to get started on my work.
But I can't seem to remember or align my to do list in my head.

And oh yes edit:
Im so thankful.
God provides, I passed my law test. LOR LOR.
& Im so thankful that i passed.
& yeap I got relatively good results for the materials and facilities. (:
His grace is indeed sufficient, and when im weak, he's strong.

~~Tuesday (meet huixin & simin for dinner)~~
Wednesday (cookie)
Thursday (christon)
Friday (cell)
Saturday (NDP)
Sunday (Service)

These are just reminders for myself. hahaa!
Oh yea, and i miss christon (:
haven't spoken to him for ages!

anyway pictures pictures!
For outing with simin and huixin

Im glad for the time we spent together lovelies.
Hadn't seen Simin for ages,
Those days when we sat together sleeping during cheena lessons!
And talking crap. (:
Im glad we've turned out like that.
Remembering how simin and i fought over potato head in sec 1.
and over some miniscule things.
Its really uproariously hilarious and childish now when we look back.

Last tuesday evening was outing with judith,chris, and christon.
Headed to thomson for food! (:
Haha i like the spaghetti at crabshack! nice tomato sauce.
& i think too much cheesecake makes people pukey!
anyway it was an awesome time we had!
im not gonna say much. but im justr gonna let photos speak for themselves.
and ha! blackmail people.

We were forced to take this! Thanks ar judith!

Again!

Unglam candid eating shots.

He looks like a kid! haha

My failed attempt to stab judith

& Im looking forward to meeting ballo for service on Sunday! (:

2008-06-29T02:34:00.003+08:00

I don't like being sick.
Its a very sickening feeling.
However, thank god, I have rested sufficiently.

My mum's accompanying me late nights.
Simply because, she uses facebook much more than neopets now!
&; you only get to play a game thrice on neopets. haha

I love my course.
The world city summit is over. (:
and it was enlightening.
I like the rush, the thrill, the excitement, of seeing the whole thing functioning.
People walking past, making things HAPPEN!
Its just so cool.
I love it when my mind runs like a clock, when it goes tick tick brrr!
I like it when i sit still and complete my work efficiently.
I love discovering new things, new ways to manage things, new revelations.

I have a lot of random thoughts.
Some nasty, some deeply philosophical thoughts to pen.
However, note its to PEN.
yes on a paper.
thats where pen and paper goes best together.
*mumbles*

2008-06-18T00:56:00.002+08:00

i feel like stabbing myself!
i feel like stabbing myself more!
WAILS ): WHY DID I MISS THE OUTING WITH BEST FRIENDS! ):
AHHH!
now im not gonna see them again till august.
ARGHHHHHH.........
GRUMBLES!

I think its a terrible awful screwed up feeling.
Poly is aedhdiuenjkfnrfj!h!
One term has passed and I still don't have that 'home' feeling.
The school is so awfully big, you don't always meet people you know,
its an alien feeling!
I feel like im strolling about in a huge huge huge shopping centre you know!
EXCEPT its not as fun.
and i really really think that my classmates are great,
BUT i don't have someone i would call an absolute bestie,
i mean someone that i hang out, grumble, complain, go crazy, do stupid stuff etc.
Okay I know its only been 1 month plus so I gotta just cut people some slack.
it makes me miss the church mates lots
the sec school mates lot.
saman, ballo, simin, and all the lovely mates that im too lazy to type out right now.
I should have just gone to JC and stressed myself there, i'd probably be complaining if I were there right now, but I'd be very well occupied, and loving it.
Anyway, if this is where God put me in, Im sticking through it.
& I think I've been giving myself too much pressure to perform.
I want to do well, but then I need to be realistic.
Anyway I'll just trust god then! surrender it all.

THANK GOD for the people in my life that actually gives me reasons to smile (:
Thank god for the lil things in life.
that im able to have the people i love by my side.

& YOU KNOW WHAT! I'm gonna get to celebrate Saman's birthday in SINGAPORE for the first time in don't know say 2 years or so? YAY YAY YAY ;DDD HOORAH! HOORAH!

& I need to be more efficient and productive in my work! gwahhahaha! gwahahah!

2008-06-17T19:36:00.002+08:00

1. At what age do you intend to get married?
lets see, i'd complete poly when im 20.
i intend to go uni so its gonna be another 3->4 years, that'd be 23/24
and approx 2 years to get established in one's job & 1 year to stabilise our plans with each other.
so it'll be 26/27/28?

2. Study hard or play hard?
both! more to study hard and work hard (:
I LOVEEE being BUSY! i know thats nuts ;D

3. Who is the person/s you trust most?
God, daddy, mummy, samantha, renette, michelle chen, jolyn, candy, christon.

4. Why do you think you have not enough confidence?
I need some time to warm up to someone, to actually bond well with someone, so i guess thats from the part of not having enough confidence to go forward and do something random like 'HELLO!'

5. If you have a dream come true, what would it be?
for everyone to be saved, then we would live happily every after, or so it seems.

6. What is your idea of a friend?
Someone who's there when you are in need, someone you can trust, share lil things with, and laugh one's eyeballs out with each other. (:

7. What is you goal this year?
WHOOOHOOO! TO SCORE A GOAL! haha. im being moronic. but moronic does it! YAY! (:
im not typing cos i have too many to list.

8. Do you believe in eternity love?
YEAH! i guess. Look at those husbands and wives out there!

9. If you have all the time and money in the world, what would you do?
Make this world happier, livelier, cheery.
Live life to the fullest!

10. If time were to unwind, what would you change?
Nothing. This plan for my life so far has been pretty awesome (:
Why change it? Even if bad stuff happened then, I learnt and grew stronger cos of it!

11. If the person you love were about to die, would you stay by his/her side or lead a happy single life?
needless to say, stay by his/her side, hello! that is obviously the right choice!

12. What feelings do you hate most?
JEALOUSY! i loathe this feeling utterly. Its a dumb dumb feeling! It springs up from nowhere and disturb your thoughts and emotions! GLARES. SHOO JEALOUSY!

13. Do you cherish all your friendship?
DUH UH!

14. Do you believe in love at first sight?
NOOOOO.....at least its not love, probably attraction! (:
Love takes time to grow, and nurture!

15. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
God, family, studies, work, friends, boyfriend (in random order)

16. Who do you hope to be always behind you, supporting you?
PEOPLE i love, and who matter very much to me. OF COS!

17. People who are going to be hated by you?
ummmm. hmmm. i can't stand bimbos or wannabes,
but then again i'll try! (:

18. Describe the person who tagged you in 5 words.
Jolyn! (AWESOME BALLO! THE SISTER)
Jen! (FA HUA CHI!)

19. How many percent do you think you are infront of your friends?
Uh? don't get it? but im naturally me!
Without the lies, the masks, and YAWW!

20. Do you think long-distanced relationship would work out?
If both parties make the effort, why not. haha! LOVE CONQUERS ALL

2008-06-16T06:53:00.003+08:00

Its a beautiful day....
& I love seeing the sunrise when I wake up.
I like the fresh air in the morning.

I am hungry.
I like mango pudding!
I want to eat cheesecake.
Thats the randomness of my incoherent thoughts.

2008-06-13T02:23:00.003+08:00

i think its odd.
how girlfriends want boyfriends to take care of them.
i can take care of myself perfectly fine. thank you very much.
i just need a lil concern, a lil time spent, lil conversations,
& im satisfied.

i've been thinking
how much i miss daddy,
my physical daddy.
i hardly see my daddy anymore.
i don't even squabble with him about the silliest thing.
he's sleeping when im home, im sleeping when he's home.

and lord father,
i miss you even more.
draw me close to you,
never let me go.
father, im sorry.
im sick of my life revolving around the world,
centre, and centre is where you'll be.
you're all i want, and all i'll ever need.
thank you father, you never fail to bless.

& i want to go volunteer at a home at least help the unfortunate (:
i think i'll do it after ndp when my saturdays are free-er.
whoo whoo.
& i wanna drag christon to join me (:
rene wanna come? ;DD

& of i wander; deep in thought

2008-06-11T10:26:00.002+08:00

i wanna meet the gang.
AWWWW AWWWWW ):

anyway MAGIX BOX is from 12-20 JULY.
COME & BE AWED!
Have you gotten your tickets yet?

1) do you wish to do this test?
NO! like MAJOR NO! i can spend this time watching my fingernails grow or doing something much more constructive. like disturbing people! haha!

2) who is more important to you? friends or boyfriend?
ummm hmmm. I'd say they are on par ;D heee.

3) who is the person i trust most?
my daddy & mummy (:

4) do you think you have enough confidence?
YEAH! im probably the most thick skin person in the entire world, but i definitely lose to michelle chen shi yun! right ;D

5) do you like jay chou?
he's OKAY. talented, yet his murmuring doesn't always make sense D:

6) do you believe in seeing a rainbow after a rain?
YEAH YEAH YEAH!!! (:

7) what is your goal ?
I wanna live my life to the fullest ;D
& travel round the world before its too late.

8) do you believe in eternity love?
question mark? the english sounds very wrong lah!
hahhaa. i guess (*points to the husbands and wives out there.*)

9) have you broken someone's heart that he/she tried to commit suicide?
I don't know. I don't think so. D;

10) what feeling you love most?
EATING GOOD FOOD is BLISS (:

11) what are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
kind, humble, honest, intelligent, understanding,
knows how to play a musical instrument, posseses some sense of humour.
basically whatever qualities you would want too.

12) list out 5 best friends of yours? (no rank)
Samantha ding, the BWSS gang, Michelle Chen, Jolyn Lai, Huixin.

13) are you lame?
If you are speaking in terms of legs, i can walk perfectly fine. thank you (:
but if you mean in terms of humour, heee. DEFINITELY ;D

14) what do you think is the most important thing in my life?
God. Family. Studies. Friends. Tuition kids. Boyfriend.

15) do you love anime?
No. I do not love anime, that is the most unapt description.

16) would you rather be loved or be in love?
BOTH (: it comes hand in hand

17) what have you done to please yourself?
EAT!!!!

18) if time were to rewind, when will you want it to be?
i wanna be a baby -> toddler, and make sure my parents take pictures of me again,
cos they lost majority of the photos in their camera when they were on holiday ): hahaha.

19) name nicknames that were given to you.
eli,eliz,lizzie,liz,bird, eliz the bird,
you get the idea, it revolves around bird.

20) what you want the most now?
To complete this quiz! ahhhh...IM DONE ;D

michelle, hows it for you?
im not gonna tag it or force people to do it. (HUH! GLARES.)

2008-06-10T04:16:00.005+08:00

& i've been blog hopping.
yes now! at this unearthly time.
& i've been looking through the juniors blog.
& i think its so amusing!
some worry about stuff like.
' boy a dumped me. etc.
im with boy b now. man! i love boy b.
and so the story continues on and on '

i really MISS secondary school.
& i miss going crazy in school.
i miss the mugging periods in school.
i miss my entre committee people.
i miss rehearsals for whichever performances there are.
i miss slacking in class.
i miss my classmates
i miss 4e3'07
im feeling so nostalgic!
Now I even remember my sec 1 english teacher who corrected my usage of the word 'nostalgic'
I miss BWSS even more.

& speaking of BWSS.
i've done my share of shopping at GSS!
yeah yeah!
spent two separate days with renette shopping!
HAHHA it was awesome-est (:
i think we do the nuttiest things ever.
she enjoys ogling, fascinating, drooling at manly and cute guys period!
i.e. walking past california fitness and squealing!
eh got macho guys there exercising!
i do stupid stuff which im obviously not proud of.
but the most hilarious of which is the neoprint machine thingy!
having not taken one for like ages! we went and took one at cine.
wanting to save moolahs to shop and eat good food.
we decided to save and spend it on a 6 dollars cheapo neoprint machine.
hahhaa! i was carrying lots of bags (COS ITS THE GSS!)and the 6 dollar coins in my hand.
not being octopus nor spideyman i couldn't manage and drop the coins.
being very indignant and guilty about dropping 2 dollars,
we decided to rescue the coins. and spent approx 5 mins, unglamly squatting down, kneeling down trying to find the coins under the machine.
In an attempt to drag the wires around, to reach the coins,
we tripped the switch of the machine. HA!
being honest and possessing much integrity, we told the assistant.
and she gave us a - you just disturbed me in the midst of doing nothing - face.
haha! and anyway it turned out fine,
we giggled our way out.
and continued shopping.
MAN! i just love love love time spent with renette.
its never boring when too crazy people come together. POWER UP! ha!

anyway i was just back on sunday from star camp.
WHOO!
god is good (:
so good (:

and ndp this week was at bedok camp.
goodness knows what we were there for.
jinwen and huixin said there were plenty of eye candies.
goodness knows, i was sleeping on the bus!
and im gonna practise my magic tricks! ;D
till i perfect it whoo! (:

im looking forward to the rest of the week! YEA! ;D

P.S. HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAIFENG ;D

P.P.S HAPPY BIRTHDAY WONGCHEEKUAN! ;D

P.P.P.S something tells me JEN's birthday's approaching cos i remember that i went shopping with CHEEKUAN for her present last year! when is it again?

P.P.P.P.S i remember JOL'S birthday too, its in july cos joly and july seems to go together. BALLO, BOOBO MISSES YOU!

P.P.P.P.S SAMANTHA! DROP ME A MAIL IF YOU SEE THIS. YOU ALRIGHT? LOVE YOU LOTS! (:

2008-06-03T03:13:00.002+08:00

gahhahahah!
i thank god for all the lil things in life!
its gonna be a busy busy busy holiday, but yeah!
its really going to turn out alright
theres, tuition, extra lessons, family time, catching up with the bffs,
ndp-magic skill; gosh! i need to practise!, activities, camps, projects, assignments,
studying, coaching michelle, going back to gy time, and catching up with e juniors!
but thank god; im busy better than having nothing to do i guess.

today was spent nuahh-ing at home, which is awesome!
i slept for 18 hours! ahahaha. thats a lot of lost sleep caught up on (:
i need to see improvement in my class!
they're stagnant, i've gone through tenses zillion-ish times with them, and they forgot. everything goes *kaput* anyway on the bright side, they understand it (: and i see their brains clicking!

saturday was just G-R-E-A-T ;D
i love love love time spent with rene shopping!
hahah cos it means we eat, relax, and shop!
GSS! ; haha i remember mich was telling me gss has begun! i went huh! what's gss!
and then i tried to think of some acronym for it like giordano sticky sticky = GSS! i think GSS isn't exactly a nice name to call it. hahaha. ok anyway i side tracked.
ahhh retail therapy is so so so so good (:
we shopped from 2 plus to 9 plus 10.
good food good lunch, at the burmese inle restaurant
then walked around cityhall,
headed down to orchard, bought looads of stuff,
and we cut our hair!
hahaha and i re-pierced my ears,man! i think i must have gripped on to rene's hands like the world was going to end at that point of time. haha thanks rene (:
i swear we didn't feel a single bit tired. hahahaha!
then headed to food republic, for the usual prawn mee.
yeah!!! 2nd round on thursday!!! ;D

im looking forward to the rest of this week.
YEAH! ;D

2008-06-01T00:33:00.002+08:00

& whoo!!!!
its the holidays (: its the holidays (: its the holidays!
ahahahahaha. i think school and all's killing me.
i need a break!
have a break! have a kit kat! ;D
ok im not in the perfect state of mind to function nor exist,
so i'll update another time!

2008-05-25T02:38:00.001+08:00

I've just found out a lot of stuff.
Stuff that I'm not supposed to know.
Stuff that changes everything.
Its the present right now, I know it isn't the past.
But somehow, it makes everything different.

2008-05-08T08:55:00.002+08:00

and when we finally meet,
it'd be for eternity.

HOLLA!
i miss saman uberly much.
i can't wait for her to be back!!!! ;DD
i wanna go crazy with her, talk to her, shop with her, eat with her,
drown her with details of my happiness
and have discussions about god again!

SAMAN YOU'RE MISSED. CHUU <3

2008-05-03T15:50:00.000+08:00

2008-04-30T01:22:00.003+08:00

Its burning! & Im thankful for the invention of air conditioner, despite the amount of harmful ozone chemicals its releasing into the atmosphere right now, and im probably killing some substantial amount of ozone layer. GO GREEN! But I think its a cycle, seee using of air conditional, reduces the ozone layer, hotter weather, more usage of air conditioner, more reduction of ozone layer and the cycle continues.

& School's crazy. Its been three weeks already! & I can't believe it you know! Time flies. In another month's time, it would be my term tests! & I have this darn effing lot worth of projects to complete which is very annoying. I love love love projects but its just that theres too little time and too much things to do.

Sondra'd also better come back PRONTO or im going to start strangling someone and show my violent streak. The last thing I'd do is to whack someone with my lappy though. ARGH. 3 consecutive days worth of lessons are stressful. But somewhat manageable. However Im still on the brink of tottering and teetering on a tightrope. My umbrella's doing its best to support me, and this week is crazy, 4 extra lessons, NO AIR NO AIR! hahaha.

Speaking of support and teetering and tottering, I signed up for trial for dancesports, psycho-ed by karol and joanne. Okay, I know I laughed when I heard about Nigel being asked to join it, and when I heard that KS joined it, now I have to eat my words. heh. GAHH. theatre has rehearsals on tuesdays which means, which means I have lessons, which means which means, I don't get to join theatre, and spsu seems member-lesss, but it seemed kinda hip though during freshie orientation. Now rockclimbing is pretty cool, but Im too lazy to check it out. Haha!

Last week was pretty awesome (:

Extra lessons with Jessica was pretty bad, she's one odd woman man! But I love her, she's so cute! and I scolded her today and she was meek hahaah! Dinner on thursday was lovely, just a short time spent catching up over some cafe food, cos the thought of hawker food doesn't exactly appease someone.

Then friday cell group was, although I was sleepy, yes sorry pau, but the word did speak to me esp. about BIM and the part on our gifts. (: MICH! I KNOW SOMETHING NOW! HAHAHAHA ;DD miss you loads. STUDY HARD YEA! O level chinese's approaching, remember your suspicious character ;D laughs!

Saturday was NDP motivator. WOOTS WOOTS WOOTS ;D balloon making was hahahaha. Our very first few unproportionate dogs and flowers are so cute! And the dance steps were tiring, but pretty fun, and I can't wait to see the whole dance. Went shopping at cityhall first, huixin got her havianas, yeah! rene's getting IPANEMA, thanks to me, i seriously think that havianas are ugly.
& Then we went food shopping. It felt like the usual us again (: I miss miss BWSS gang days, and I found the ' memories of BWSS booklet and cd ' it makes me teary, those days were great, unlike at guangyang where things are much more complicated, and I believe that its BWSS which has really shaped me to who I am today, but then again gy has its fair share of fond memories 4e3'07! Headed to centre, to meet christon and we went food shopping part 2, for the barbeque, got fondue stuff; looking high and low for marshmallow, choosing the chocolate, picking bananas and strawberries, its hilarious, and it felt like family, haha! Then headed to rene house. Went to his aunt house first, his aunt is so friendly and amusing; MY PAMPERED ONE, she really adores him, and his aunt mum? is it? was so excited, though she couldn't speak, her warm smile and handshake said it all, bespectacled uncle of his look like those kindly professor, and I tell you he's evil, he bullies his cousin! hahaha. Ate, went crazy, laughed, talked and just enjoyed time spent with the lovelies today and the recruitment of a new member!!! hahaha.

And Im tired, and my bed's screaming out to me now, I can't wait for this week to end!

2008-04-16T18:28:00.004+08:00

It's just been raining chimpanzes and ah mengs and whats not, not long ago!
& poof! now's the rain's gone! seee!
ok poof isn't exactly a right word to describe it, but hmmm cos rain isn't those fairytale bubble gummy land thingy kind of thing. and it doesn't come in bubbles and burst with a 'poof'
ok I don't think im making sense. & I don't think I know what I'm saying anyway.
But really it's been raining these few days, one minute its effingly hot, and the next minute it starts raining like nobody's business. & that means night time should be cool or chilly.
However, I sleep with my air con switched on these few nights. Its so odd!
& I keep getting tempted to sleep when I attend lectures.
My brain seriously cannot function when its cold!
Thus I start note-taking, scribbling furiously, to keep myself awake!
I found out my facial tissues make me feel alive! HAHA.
okay i think im crazy.

Edit: 20/4/08

& school's been pretty awesome. I totally love what im learning!
Event decoration; I mean where do you love flower deco? and balloon deco? and whats not!
IT application for events; COOL! photoshop I want! I want! & I have the software now, after years of trying means to get it. I'VE GOT IT! hahahaa
Law: It means more memorising, and it seems pretty intriguing ;D and how cool can watching movie during tutorials be!
Event Design & Drawing ; YAY! i love love love drawing.
& Event Experience is super cool ;D we're gonna plan a racial harmony day 2008 event somewhere at khatib. we're getting food, competition and goodie bag. which means FREEBIE (: and FOOD (: hahaha! and its super cool cool cool, and we must inculcate the values of racial harmony, draw the people together, and get 1000 people ++ to attend! YAY! but the bad thing is it falls on 28 july, and i have NDP! ): & I WANNA GO FOR BOTH! ;DD

& whoever said poly life is much more easy and slack-er than jc is wrong, I absolutely refute this point! Its just typical stereotype, I use to think that way too, truth poly is more independent, choices are yours to attend lectures, and there is less pressure, but its not easy!

Im uber looking forward to NDP, when things really really start, all the practice, dance, costume, highness and all!

& Im trying my best to cope with 3 days straight of tuition, if its 2 in one day, it won't be that bad, but its 3 consecutive days! ack! plus school.

anw friday's prayer meeting was good (:
god's presence was so real. im just in awe.

i love love love time spent with loved one on the occasional weekend
& sunflowers are pretty ;DDD
and im thinking of keeping the centre hahaha!

ps. super close friends gathering bbq is next week.
YAY! (: i can't wait!

2008-04-05T00:37:00.003+08:00

Im blogging solely because I feel extremely bored.
Im really really bored.
and when Im bored I enjoy watching my fingernails grow.
GAHH. Im bored.

& I realise I've got lots of pimples popping out lately.
and sprouting up at random places.
mummy would peer at my face and say ' have you been washing your face clean? '
aiks! I HAVE. & Im hoping that the green tea pimple cream would work.
In addition, my hair has been frizzing at the ends bit by bit.
gahh, im too lazy to get conditioner.
& I realised how bimbotic I am rambling along about my hair and my complexion.
ARGH.

To end this, I deduce I'm very bored.
SOMEONE! date me out for lunch tomorrow!

2008-04-04T03:22:00.002+08:00

I've realised how long it has been since I've touched my storybooks. Seriously, I hardly use my psp, don't read my story books, don't pack my room, newspapers hardly exist to me now, I rely on my mummy to update me on it. OH NO! How have I spent my 6 months of blissful lounging and wasting time away? & Omigosh! I realised its 6 months its equivalent to half a year. WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING!

& school's starting. Perhaps I should start cultivating a positive attitude towards it. Heys but I think Im nuts enough, I realised I missed studying. Awww. So I'm FINALLY FINALLY feeling excited.SCHOOL'S STARTING WHOO! but I missed FO camps ): ok i hope they're more to attend.

and and I wanna go cell retreat, the first cell retreat okay! sadly circumstances doesn't allow it. I'll be missing out on so so so much. I guess I'll do some catching up with my cousisn, smiling at unknown relatives, make (miserable) attempts to converse in hainanese and whoa? people around me. ok but its the wrong attitude to have. Its not a party. I'll miss you popo, whatever few and far between memories I have I'll cherish. To see popo so shrunken, cheeks sunken and shriveled was terrible, she was just alright during keith's dinner last december, sighs. strangled noise.

& the weather is getting nuttier by the days, it was so HOT today in the early afternoon, lots of complaining about shopping at bugis and looking for contacts at toapayoh esp. from qingwei! haha. and then whooosh, the rain poured like nobody's business at around 4 plus 5? We were terribly drenched, and beyond wet, and the umbrella that rene and i were sharing overturned, and we looked like two mad women crossing the junction with overturned umbrella. I don't like WET FEET and shoes! and whats more the hailstorm. people picking out ice stones! GLOBAL WARMING. Its freezing cold now, and Im typing this with a blanket wrapped around me. Kinda ridiculous buy hey its comfortable. and I didn't buy anthing today YAY! (: and oh yes shopping with Caixia yesterday was great, did loads of catching up, sorry it had to be cut short, and I miss her to bits already. Caixia! Again!

& I miss Vita to bits, saw her at Bugis today, I don't understand how she got demoted to promoter, its so annoying, she looked slightly sad and we chatted for awhile, and hugged, awww, I miss her really she was like a second mum to me. URGH xiaohui if I ever see you, and if its you who caused this, I'm going to..... I don't know. ARGH!

& I think my grandma misses talking to me! She just woke up at 3 plus, complaining it was 4 and about why I haven't slept and whats not, and she's been nagging me for the past 1 week or so. I'm getting immune as to blocking out noises! haha.

ok Im tired. Need to help Andrew accomplish his plans. HEHE :DDD

& we've come full circle.
together (:

2008-04-03T23:58:00.000+08:00

030408'

2008-03-31T01:18:00.002+08:00

side track: I realised how much i miss trips out with mummy )): awww.

anyway im glad i met balls for service today. WHOO! did some catching up.
& balls sent a subtle reminder, by mentioning about some incident about.....
hmmm what was that again?
oh yes! making new friends and not forgetting the old.
haha! today's service was awesome-est, it really did speak to me.
& tomorrow's a new day. 14 days till school reopens.
BAHHH DDD:

and ice skating on saturday was pure fun ((:
despite falling, thankfully only once, but i realised i have lots of blue-blacks,
ok they are currently colouring reddish yellow.
but it was still uber fun. aik hong's scary to skate with. he was fast!
and he kept saying 'c'mon elizabeth! hold on to me i'll bring u on a fast skate round the rink '
to which i exclaimed, shouted, whichever, 'DON'T TOUCH ME!'
& my hands automatically wrapped around myself. haha.
qingwei was as usual good, he takes to skating like a duck takes to water.
& joyce learnt to skate too! which was just great (;
headed back to the centre, didn't make it in time to find jonathan,
see la! aikhong walk so slow. heee
then strolled out for dinner, which was pretty good. thank you :D
and strolled back to yiochukang mrt, which was a pretty good way to end the day (:
and home-ed. & i still had to reply to messages and people asking how did dinner go. glares!
haha. anyway back to today.

taught aikhong english again, of which i've to force him to do homework.
ITS TIRING YOU KNOW!
before that had lunch at kfc.
whilst queuing up and aikhong was relaxing, there was this super girlish guy behind me,
his two conversations on the phone was girly, so girly, it gave me goosepimples, goosebumps!
i seriously questioned his gender.
he was *jaws drop open* gahh DDD:
then we headed back to do work again, as usual, had to be forced ;D
and helped zhipeng with his eng project later.
at the library while using lappie,
i turned off umm another stranger's switch ACCIDENTALLY.
it was so embarassing ;p heh.
off to aunt's home next,
it was lovely seeing dexter again, i miss my cousins uber uber uber much (:
dinner and taught michelle. wooosh.
& im getting more and more absent minded, i left my hp in the centre in the afternoon
& left my wallet at aunt's house in the evening. twice in one day.
one day i'd might lose myself, i'd never know! ;D

2008-03-30T00:56:00.002+08:00

i think i get grumpy, when........... i don't know.
i just feel extremely tired and annoyed.
short fuse; i think if someone rubs me the wrong way im going to snap.
so i'd best save the world of my horrible temper when i get angry.
& go and catch some beauty sleep!
tomorrow is a busy busy day.
morning service with balls. YAY ;DDD hahahah.
then eng lessons with sister aikhong.
& project with zhipeng.
then lessons with michelle, and family dinner. ACK!
& i've gotten ideas for the thank you thingamee already!
FINALLY (: haha i can start doing it soon. YAY ;D
and now my brain's only processing one thing.
go to sleep. go to sleep. go to sleep.

2008-03-29T00:03:00.002+08:00

YAY ;DD
im sun baked and red hot. & so are joyce shermaine and qingwei!
shermaine especially.
i feel so hot and fuzzy all over. It isn't a very comfortable feeling & I bathed in hot water to make it worse. Heee ;D so much for acting smart.
mummy's oat body cream isn't helping. I need aloe vera! ;D
today's trip to east coast park was FUN FUN FUN. whooo.
We were ALMOST lost, thankfully, there were extremely helpful marine parade residents that directed us to the underpass and there was even an uber nice lady who popped her head out just to check that we were going the right way. awww (:
My attempt to learn to cycle part 2 was pretty screwed up again. heh. but Im getting there.
& there was a fighter jet in the sky today. Awww. We were trying to guess whether its an aeroplane, a rocket, or a fighter jet, apparently the last won!
& we went to sit at the jetty just soaking in the sun and the view.
the water sparkled (rather the one further out in the sea)
& the sand was oh so smooth and white.
haha it was a great time to STONE & day dream.
then washed up, headed back to marine parade (as quoted central; city area by shermaine)
kfc-ed and we didn't have a peaceful meal, we broke into peals of laughter throughout the meal, except for shermaine who turned on her silent mode ;D there was a bunch of jc students sitting behind us, and one of the girls, kept going,
' i was like blahhh blaahhh blahh '
& ' she was like blahh blahhh blahhh '
& then ' he was like blahhh blahh blahhh '
and 'how could she be like this blahhh blahhh blahh'
and ' i was like is it like my fault, do i look like.....blahh blahh blahh'
& on and on she went, and we laughed at every single like she says,
qingwei claims her vocabulary is apparently extremely limited.
our fingers and toes added up wouldn't have been enough to count the no.s of 'like' she said.
Hence we started imitating her with the ang moh qiang and all non-stop around the shopping mall and all. Window-shopped (Of course lah) and looked for joyce's ipanema. Oh! I love mine ;D
then we bus-ed back (: the ride was tiring. Fell asleep, thank goodness. and im still feeling hot all over.I'd hope tomorrow's ice skating had cool my skin :DD
pure fun, just days and days of playing WOOO! (: at least till school starts urgh.
& i wanna go FO camp the SU one its so annoying they didn't call back hmph
and oh theres cell retreat. ahahaahhaha! i can't wait! (:
& i seriously need to peel my eyes open. got work to do. gahhh!

even if it takes you forever

2008-03-27T15:06:00.001+08:00

How do I love thee?
Let me count the ways.

2008-03-26T00:23:00.002+08:00

I've been doing a lot of thinking recently.
Ok it doesn't mean I don't think everyday.
But anyway I've been thinking that there are a zillion of charity cases (exaggerating)
but really lots of charity cases, so what makes one unfortunate man different from the other,
what would make you donate to one and not the other.
what makes you think that the tissue aunty over at the traffic light needs more help than the one at the mrt. for example.
I think its really confusing. & I haven't seen tissue uncle for a long time, whichever his name, but my favourite tissue uncle friend, and my kong kong's one too. ok he used to sell the singapore sweep tickets. sigh. I wonder how he's doing.
& oh yes back to the topic.seee im diverting AGAIN.
& for example today, there was a blind lady basking, a old man without one arm selling tissues, I walked away an extremely confused person. Which to donate I think. Both? Or one a day.
How about the old ladies at Orchard Road where they set their mats and sell lil stuff ranging from tissues to umbrellas to a pack of milo or even bossini teeshirts. Seriously, are those considered charity cases. I don't know.
& now about charity now that I remember, my year plan to go help out at an old folks home. MUST NOT GET DISTRACTED. urgh!
I must go and get it done by God's grace.

& now about another topic about weight?
Is it so oppressive the word fat?
Why is there a stigma about the word fat?
As I was going up the escalator the group of secondary girls on the way down said,
' I like that thick hairband but I saw a fat girl wearing it'
Whats the link over here?
It disgusts me when people ostracise people who are not as slim as them, or not of the perfect figure. & to people who are already stick thin, they say that I need to lose weight, I need to eat less, its really crazy!

I'm too tired to think much more.
& I think I've been pretty grumpy of late which is bad.
Perhaps its moodswings?
I don't know. GAHH.

i miss you.

2008-03-22T03:48:00.003+08:00

& its such a grey area.
not clearly stated in black and white.
but its there.
and i know it as much as you do.

TGIF!
In god there is no uncertainty, he is certain, he is real.
In god there is no need to worry that what is lost would be lost forever.
I would never lose him.
& since young. i've been afraid of losing things that are dear to me.
i mean who isn't, but im EXTRA paranoid of it.
but now, I'll never need to fear.
& to meet up with god this sanctification week again was great.
the passion of the christ video.
the reminder again that god did this for me.
thank god for speaking.
& change me father, i'll be ignorant no longer.

2008-03-18T11:42:00.002+08:00

HAHA YAY ;DDDD
shopping with renette was LOVE (:
daughter! i love you. hahhahaha!
we went to taka to get her 3 quarts. auntie nancy and caixia! thank you ;DDD
i miss you guys sooooo much (: auntie nancy you're still as sweet as ever.
hahaha and i've got 40% discount :PPP i sound seriously aunty- OMIGOSH.
i'll come by and visit you when i can. hahaha! (:
anyway a very satisfied renette went off happily with her 3/4s.
and then we ice-creamed! its been ages!
CHOCO MINT is pre-loved, and still loved.
and i really ate A LOT. despite my cough, and throaty voice and whatever not. heh.
had gogo franks cheesy sausage prata, and sausage fries! :D
then we strolled to isetan, to look for clothes, didn't find anything, but spoke to auntie annie ;D she looks really adorable in her huge black jacket.but most of the aunties are gone ): then we had the random urge to watch step up 2, but then we decided to go bugis to watch. bought buns and fruits, then had you tiao and butterfly ;D and otah! that was really A LOT of food.

heh. and off to bugis, the movie timing was 5:10 bleargh, and renette probably couldn't make it for her hangul lessons if we watched it then. so we went up to the foodcourt and ate our food.
we were sitting by this lovely window, with a beautiful scenery, if you count buildings as scenery that is, but there was some sky still, so i had the clearer view and i wanted to let renette see some sky ;D and then i moved my chair, renette gave a questioning look, i moved the table next in a sudden swift motion, renette whose elbows were on the table, jerked off. her expression was hilarious! she nagged at me for not giving her a warning. haha! awww.

after the short break we continued shopping, and when we were thinking of heading back so that she could make it for her hangul lessons, the centre confirmed that it was on wednesday. GAHH we could have atched step up 2. but then again, there's always wed.
so we strolled around to look for smaller handbags. ;D renette wanted it and it was really hilarious, i don't know it just looks funny on her. heh!

since she had no more hangul lessons, we decided to go shoe-shopping. IM HAPPY ;DD new shoes! that means i can throw away one of my old pair. too tight. hehe! now i want sneakers.but for now my kappa shoes will have to do.

went back to the centre later, sorry aikhong! i came too late, heh. ;p then it was bliss (: just spending time talking, haha! and thank you. that was very sweet. home-ed. and i've got lessons later. till then.

2008-03-17T12:44:00.003+08:00

sweet jesus.
i close my eyes lift my hands to worship you.
you're the love of my life.
no one else matters in this world but you.
no one can take your place in my heart.

father i miss you.

2008-03-15T01:51:00.002+08:00

and its like daily, we're on a sugar high (:

Went to SP for enrolment today, was kinda awe-ed.
Just poof-ed back. So many clubs, how to know which to join. like ACK!
but I think I'd wanna attend the student union club camp.
still the timing's kinda wrong. have lessons on tues, and the camp falls from mon-wed
BAD ):
Anyway, I got my lappie. YAY ;DDD
haha and the freshman orientation tee, is kinda prettaye ;DDD

heh! then headed to Singapore's Christian Home for the Aged with the kids and the other tutors & helpers & boss! It was really sad to see the old folks, limited or rather confined to their beds, their so called, own cubicle, and theres not much to roam about with, no tv clearly visible.
There're elderly whose faces brightened up and they smiled like nobody's business when we sung, performed and spoke to them.

& There was this old lady, Aunt Elsie, who really touched me.
She couldn't see, her hearing wasn't good. Yet her passion for God was really there.
She sung hymns which I don't know of but still, I could feel her love for God.
If someone, without sight, who can't hear well, could trust God with all her heart, soul, and spirit, why can't I? It just hit me really hard.
Then a student's reflection, that underneath everything no matter how harsh or withdrawn they may be, there's a part of them yearning for love. Indeed every single one of us human being's like that, perhaps thats a good explanation when the kids behave like that or friends or other strangers or loved ones, when they get irritating, or make you angry, perhaps they just want your attention. A lil' I care for you. a lil' I'm here for you would go a mile.

& its really an eye-opener, going to the old folks home with kids, seriously, previously when going with classmates, it'd be, difference between enthu and unenthu people, people who do it just for the sake of doing it, not out of pure compassion, out of love, out of care and concern.

Well the kids really made me proud of them, they'd do stuff they don't normally do. Dance with zest, when this kind of thing would make them embarassed usually, or sing lustily, despite the fact some think they can't sing, despite the fact some zhao sia, they still sang. those who were rough and clumsy people, making an effort to fold hearts, putting their heart and soul into writing their comments, its really great to see them going all out. I realised giving isn't just giving within your means as often stated, but giving more than you can.

MAC-RITCHIE jungle walk tomorrow! I'm off heh! TOODLES (:

& the lil actions speak more than words itself.

2008-03-12T00:27:00.002+08:00

Im losing my voice. ack!!!
and its manly. urp! im tired. & im going to sleep early for once ;D
haha. and thank you (: for coming down to pass me medication.
and i asked for a roll of robitussin sweet alone, and you gave the whole package, medicine needed, more than necessary and not needed.
as your dad said 'did someone at the centre faint?'
Thanks :) for asking your dad to drive down to considering you once said that its rare.
and for running to 7 eleven. haha! and for taking over tomorrow's lessons!
I want my voice back, its like so ack.
I realised how much our voice is a blessing from God.
& thanks Minghao for the disgusting tasting luohanguo and the waterchestnut.
heh! & the rest at the centre for telling me to takecare.
WHOA i can't wait to recover.
and lets go ICE CREAM tomorrow, in hope that it would soothe my throat! (:

& gratitude, these lil thoughtful things (:

2008-03-11T09:15:00.001+08:00

sleeping is tiresome today.
breathing is troublesome.
i don't like chronic coughs. ACK!

2008-03-09T00:28:00.002+08:00

and when you call , my heart stops beating.

Ice skating was screwed up ):
the ice skating rink was closed up cos there was an ice hockey tournament!
absolutely annoying!
we went there and we were like huh! how come theres no one are they zambo-ing the rink or were we early. and we saw the sign that says PLEASE BEWARE OF FLYING HOCKEY PUCKS!and then the hockey goalposts or nets? whichever you call that.
then finally the sign, that says PLEASE NOTE THAT WE'LL BE CLOSED FROM 6/3/2008-8/3/2008 due to the hockey tournament. LIKE BAHHH! We pouted frowned to no avail. We couldn't have used it for nuts la!
Watched a lil bit of ice hockey while munching before going for movie.
The eye was freaky! yet it was really meaningful as in the moral of the story.
& i realised there're so many people scared of spooky shows. Me included!
Girl with blonde curly hair and black mascara-ed plus eye-shadowed lady to the fullest extent was just freaky! & music plays such a part.
poor nigel got whacked hard by renette.
xueyi borrowed shermaine's shoulder.
jinwen im not too sure.
aik hong snatched my shawl away to cover his eyes.
and qingwei thought it was amusing! haha.
Then walked talked watched more ice hockey matches,
which was kinda bad cos singapore lost 3-1. awww!
but its really interesting and violent! haha
then headed back to the centre.
did some album. read with some kids.
and reminder to self: Go get a dictionary for derek.
then went to write motivational cards for huixian.
and pizza hutted with ftc people. which explanation doesn't suffice for my current hoarse voice.
ack! fever the next day at 38. can't stand it!
and imagine a few days ago, I was telling my mummy, 'Mummy its really funny how everytime I think to myself, I haven't had a sore throat for a long time, or I haven't fell sick for a long time and then I'll fall sick.'
Now I've fallen sick again! ): haha and I hid the news from my daddy and grandma.
Took panadol silently, suffer silently etc.
Today's my voice's still hoarse, and i go off-key and my throat itchy,
but thank God for the little things in life, I'm healed of the fever.
& for the honey lemon drink from sheree's mum,
& for Mummy agreeing to hide the secret.
& for the messages which cheered me up! (:

2008-03-08T01:40:00.002+08:00

today was shopping with lovely renette (:
IT fair was WHOA! haha got the memory stick. thanks daddy for paying! ;P
& VAIO and apple labtops are love!
they're just so gorgeous at least lookwise. droolworthy.
renette's and my drool could have filled up a bucket! haha exaggeration ;D
whichever.
went shopping (: or rather renette did the shopping.
heh! too much clothes. & fashion lab has a sale going on!
like major. rene wanted a 3/4. staff purchase. heh! thanks caixia (:
plus additional 15% off.
met doris though she didn't recognise me.
the manager that told me to smile at clothes when shopping! ack.
and window-ed the rest.
got donut factory! YUM though its real messy.
I managed to resist the temptation to eat it till i broke fast. haha YAY.
went to HURS then. and strolled around bugis street.
shorts and jeans. oh no! im feeling tempted. haha
& renette was so evil. she said. 'elizabeth see la! I don't like you already, you tempt me to buy clothes. hurh hurh!'
;D amusing! then yoshinoya-ed for dinner.
before rushing for cell at sengkang.
chatted along the way. i think its been ages since renette and i had the time to hang out with each other.
THANK GOD (:
ice breakers was really hilarious.
haha renette said ' I FEEL SO STRESSED '
;DDD its really funny lah! haha.
then worship
and NDP motivator.
whoo ((; mummy said its ok if i join! haha renette im dragging you along with me heh.
and then learnt about deliverance.
it was interesting yet spooky.
home-ed with renette & rachel.
lovely time talking. haha! (;
YAY! and tomorrow's ice skating day! i can't wait!

2008-03-07T01:27:00.002+08:00

& in circles we've gone.

HOO! minjun couldn't make it today and i was pretty touched heh not that he couldn't go!
but that his mum called to say that he wanted to struggle and make it to class (:
he's so sweet. awww! haha. its ok i'll see you sunday!
the little things that are extra sunshines!
:D
jack place-ed with qingwei and jinwen.
& HURRAY! i've finally finished packing all the books. HA!
i'd feel a major sense of accomplishment.left the borrow me sign to do though.
oh yes and photo album captions. soon soon (:
;DDD i need to learn my tenses all over. its getting bad!
& its amazing how easy primary school eng seemed! no lengthy essays and comprehension. whoa! aik hong homework seems pretty ok.
then home-ed (: thanks for a/c to mrt! ;D
cell tomorrow! yay! & IT fair with rene.
im soooo not looking forward to medical checkup
super gross la. what chest x-ray.
i feel violated ok! and urine test! ack! ack! ack!
SP AHHH!

2008-03-06T02:28:00.003+08:00

& yesterday was........ but i'll still give thanks!
class was horigible.
im not sure if its the after examination mode or something
but still they refused to pay attention. maybe cos i gave them a test.
or maybe i wasn't sufficiently prepared. and the game went awry.
but what really hurt was sheree writing down on a piece of paper whilst crying.
' this is the most boring lesson ever. you're the worst tuitor.'
NOTE: with spelling error attached.
which reminds me i need to correct her spelling.
heart breaks twice & thrice.
its the worse thing anyone can say.
i know she likes to win, to have all the attention in the world especially from tutors.
she's probably the only child. but whatever its not like im not!
she's self centred like what christon says. but people have their faults lah.
but what really drives me crazy was the fact that after class and 2 games.....
she.... said..... BYE elizabeth JIE JIE! SEE YOU! & gave me a HI-5 & a HI - 0.
Its confusing. and before lesson she was. LAUGHING AWAY HAPPILY & PLAYING WITH ME.
and to add in inappropriate behaviour. she eats sweets like nobody's business! in my class without asking me. yes for whose ever brilliant idea it was, i'd get monster sweets and scare her with gooey coloured teeth! its really a great idea now! and she eats like nobody's business. in my class. and she's anti social, she doesn't like people in her class. must have pre talk with her next week. to think i thought her mature.
ARRGHHH! frustration. but i'll learn to rest in the Lord.
not mine but yours.
& yi heng is so cute LIKE XOXO SUPER LOVED. sheesh! i mean seriously. he's so sweet. he's smart, polite, cute, funny, and understanding. little monster sheree wanted to be the listener in queen victoria and yiheng wanted to be too, and sheree was close to starting a fight and then yiheng said, its ok, you be lah! MAN! I LOVE HIM ((: highest scorer 47.5/50
that doesn't mean i don't love you all minjun and jessica & sheree too!
I'LL LOVE YOU ALL ((: despite your faults! i've mine too.

& today was really a great day.
on a side note: i splurged on myself yesterday.
haha im happy! & i got my pay! (:
and the rest that happened im too lazy to blog bout it.
TILL THEN!
im looking forward to tomorrow ;DD

2008-02-27T03:15:00.002+08:00

Acquire new knowledge whilst thinking over the old, and you may become a teacher of others.

Caixia, I can't wait. NEXT WEDNESDAY ;DDDD
OOH IM SO GLAD (:
girls day out!!!

2008-02-26T01:23:00.004+08:00

sidenote: secondhand serenade songs are LOVE!

saturday was tutoring session with lovely michelle at cityhall ;DD
haha! michelle gets really confused at times and loves mcqs.
we moved around from esplanade to marina square foodcourt (outdoors then indoors)
haha! & it was really hilarious when i wanted to order bobo terigu or da mai in chinese.
and the two aunties at the store quarrelled over what was bobo terigu.
and they didn't have it in the end. :D
then was off to friends! learning centre to meet qingwei (:
i think the formal dresscode is really amusing, esp for people who used to dress casual.
some people looked uhhh. thats for me to know! haha.
and then was off to marisa's house bbq.
its amazing how the food tasted just nice bbq-ed and not like overly chao da, or undercooked when its not bbq-ed by us. haha!
then homed.

sunday was tutoring with michelle again, and service which was really great.
a broken and contrite heart o lord you'll not despise.
then tutoring after (:

& i feel so glad i spent the day lazing around.
ha! & school's starting soon ( if you count 1 month plus as soon )
sp integrated events & project management (: thank god!
but i haven't found any kakis in the same course, though there are the loved ones, who're in the same school! that means travelling together. & theres erzi who'd 238 with me and probably make me walk back with him to save bus fare :DDD
& im really really excited! march holidays are coming.
YAY! for art competition & love for the elderly camp (:
but booster classes are not welcomed with overly enthusiastic response, haha not that i don't like teaching the kids, i really do, but i don't like tenses, its so frustrating, i never did absorbed my past participle, present, past perfect tenses and etc. in primary school. how i aced english? just tell if it sounds right. haha! & that means i must study tenses again )):
OOOH! but still march holidays are exciting.
& i love minjun, jessica, yiheng & sheree! :DDD
haha my p3 english class!
and i think i've some shopping disorder or something which is getting bad!
it distracted me thoroughly from my to dos.

reminder to self :
-BORROW ME! signs (delegated duty from christon)
-& my worksheets & lessons plan which are today! oh no!

im off (:

2008-02-24T00:03:00.003+08:00

I've been reflecting on the past year 2007, and I know its super super belated to think about this now considering its already February 24th year 2008! God has been so good. I remembered how hard it was struggling with God, how much by God's grace, I've managed to attend service every week even overcoming parent's objections, how I've asked God in my low points in my life, where are you God? Why don't I feel you close to me? Thank God o's are over and i've got through it, got into the course of my choice and all. (: & im glad to say, it was a year of victory indeed! Thank God that he was there all along!

& i know he's the one. (:
moments with you are just perfect.

2008-02-20T22:25:00.006+08:00

& our gazes interlocked.
as a moment of recognition passed between us and something more.
a warm grin spreaded on my face.
you waved.
& you were gone.

& its a great imagination! (:
hopes & dreams.
just a glimpse of you or the way you speak just makes me smile

2008-02-13T23:56:00.002+08:00

IM HUNGRY. SLEEPY & GROUCHY.
went back with nigel, qingwei & xy to do the flowers.
flower, arrange, cut, cotton wool, soak in water, put in plastic, tape, paper, wrap, ribbon.
its a repeating process, and urgh.
im really really sick of flowers now!
period! i wonder how do people actually enjoy being florists.
maybe i just don't have the passion?
but spending 1 whole day from 7 in the morning till 6.30 in e evening, doing flowers flowers & flowers is ENOUGH! GRAWR.

2008-02-12T01:31:00.001+08:00

i feel a sense of desperation creeping up.
CA1 EXAMS )):
how?

lord father, im putting it all into your hands.

2008-02-11T02:34:00.001+08:00

whoa! (: found the 6d blog again.
I realised how much catching up I needed to do.
All 6d-rians did really really well for o's!
and i mean REALLY REALLY WELL (:
It's so cool!
To see how much all of us have changed.
The girls are all so prettaye!
and for the guys too (nope not pretty but rather good looking)
and kk is in hwachong like OMIGOSH!
he pia-ed to hwachong. WHOA!
Im feeling nostalgic!
& samantha i visited our old blog haha (:
u'd better come back soon and post in it.
NO MORE GOING OVERSEAS
im chaining you to Singapore!

& I'm not ever going to do sales ever again.
It's a thorough waste of brain juice.
But the good thing's I get to day dream (:
HA!

2008-02-09T01:08:00.000+08:00

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!
and its 3 days late! but its still in the 15th day period! grins! (:

i went shopping for clothes online lately ;D oh no!
and i bought a lot. and i mean a lot of clothes.
must control spreeing. ok and the fact that im blogging about it instead of doing devotions now is really shallow! oh no.

Anyway im just so glad that indeed CNY was a time of reuninon, and healing relationships this chinese new year (:
Finally and i mean totally FINALLY connected with my cousins from my mum's side.
On almost every other Chinese New Year, a conversation is non-existent unless you count the HELLO! HAPPY NEW YEAR greetings to each other.
But thank god! for Issac and Alex, that we started talking! They made Chinese New Year somewhat much more bearable this year (; and Joshua is so cute. LIL Dinosaur.
Same age group can! ;D
and I realised my relatives are all pretty tall people, either that or I'm short!
(Note to self: Do not start a sentence with 'and' and start them with 'caps')
I'm serious like somewhere along the genetic line, something went awry. DNA!
Haaa! Ok my height is somewhat equal to theirs or slightly taller, but they're like sec 1s or 3s and they have so much more time to grow. My growth spurt is reaching!NOO....
Ok anyway I diverted from the topic. Really great feeling getting to know them better (: and they're people of God too! its a PLUS PLUS! Though they were since they were born hee and I knew it all along.

oh yes! I watched snippets of a korean drama yesterday, go back to school sang doo! cos I was really lazy to watch all episodes :D and since I watched snippets, I had to fill in loopholes. Then there was this ending part where I thought the two main characters died. So tragic! & I started crying and crying. Then the last 3 minutes or so, showed the couple migrated to the countryside, living happily! HOW ANNOYING. I wasted my buckets of tears on them ok!

Went over to Saman's house today!
(: lunched happily and her mum's friend came over!
Her daughters are like so cute and so pretty!
SQUEALS
they're so adorable. haha!
We proceeded to play at the playground.
Haha! THEY'RE SO SWEET (:
and there was this girl (unrelated)
who retorted loudly to this boy from afar,
who said something like ' wo hong bao lei '
and she said
' gong xi fa cai, hong bao na lai,
mei you hang bao, gei ni blackeye '
to which Saman and I roared with laughter.
Haha and there was this boy who obviously had some emotional/ psychological problems
who shouted to his group of friends? or enemies?
DON'T LOOK AT ME! I TELL YOU NOT TO LOOK AT ME AH!
WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME! DON'T FOLLOW ME AH!
I TELL YOU DON'T FOLLOW ME!
His friends? or enemies? looked pretty puzzled.
He seemed pretty angsty but the scene was pretty hilarious,
but seriously it was kinda rude, hence I retorted, Who would want to follow you or look at you.
I regret my actions now. EEKS!
anyway back to the kids (:
SHAYNA & PHOEBE! such nice names.
We played at the playground, duck duck goose, queen victoria, aeiou, and games we could think up of ;D which was practically anything under the sun!
photos up soon!
After they went home, we spoke about the past and stuff.
Man! How time flies. REALLY FLIES (:
& Im really glad I've got Samantha to share everything from stuffs bout god to this! WHOA

& HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY! LOVES! (:

p.s. desmond! MAN U IS GREAT OK!

and my conscience is nibbling at me. off to do devotions now
(I've just realised how unorganised and random my posts are! )

2008-02-06T01:05:00.000+08:00

GAHHHHHHHH D:
i feel desperately weird.
ok desperately isn't a proper word for a description of weird and then again weird is an adjective itself so its considered an ad-adjective? I'm just rambling on to myself & yes thats what Jolyn and Kah ho has been saying.
I talk too much to myself. How annoying!
Or perhaps rather I voice out my thoughts to myself.

NOTE TO SELF: must stop doing that :D

GAHHHHHHHHHH D:

Bras Besah has so cheap 2nd hand books in pretty good conditions for 2 dollars approximately for 1 and plus there's an additional 20% off for the books now! sidetrack: HAHA ohmigosh, i feel so AUNTY can. Those are the kiddy ones for pri.1-6 though. The adult ones are still pretty cheap! (: I spent time today happily? shopping for the storybooks. OOOH! Christon still feeling guilty! haha.

Val's day's coming pretty soon. Went back to help. and Jolyn asked: WHY ARE YOU SO ENTHU? GAHHHHHHHH D: Anyway thanks people who've been helping out even people I've never expected to come like Jolyn! & Chee Kuan (: & you even asked Nicholas to accompany you up! Im surprised. You've changed! Anyway it was pretty much chaotic there. But I LIKE :DDDD it makes it feels like a huge part of a family.

and Jolyn! I won't be going for the prefects camp! I'll feel terribly extra besides you're partnering Farhana already (: haha. and I also realised I'll be abandoning two classes you know :DDD not just one. Sorry.

Today's lessons were pretty ok. Control wise I'm learning. ELIZABETH! YOU MUST BE STERN! God give me the patience! But they're still pretty adorable no matter how impish they may be. Sheree digs her nose midway through a conversation. While Minjun sucks or licks his pen. They wouldn't exactly be considered adorable behaviour but still its pretty amusing! Haha. & They can't sit still :DDD I'm learning! students your exams are coming. GO GO GO! rememeber its not the matter of who finishes first its the journey (:

2008-01-31T23:37:00.000+08:00

SAMANTHA IS BACK :DDDDD
OOH I MISSED YOU!

Teaching is such a joy (: oh you!

2008-01-30T01:53:00.002+08:00

my blog has finally been updated after a zillion million-ish year!
* whispershelloi'vemissedmyblogquiteterribly * :D

I've been working as an english tuition teacher lately at a tuition centre, i just realised how much of a joy it was to be teaching. hahha! perhaps i'd consider teaching as a future career prospect ;D

Well,the kids are such a bundle of joy there, not affected by the world, yet in some way affected, its contradictin but i meant affected as in that they now request for things like PSP etc. I don't even own one yet! But then again they are not affected or influenced by the world in the sense that its still so easy to make them laugh, just scaring them will make them roll over the floor laughing. Playing with them and teasing them really make their day, and yours too!

I sat in for some other lessons to learn, and yesterday I started my first official lesson without any other teacher inside, really, it was a delightful experience, I had an extremely enjoyable and fulfilling time teaching them. Teaching isn't just a profression after all. Just simple games and comprehensions which required them to act, they participated gleefully!

However, today was rather different. I stepped into class a little more confident, cos I knew the students that I was going to teach today, having co-tutored them in christon's class. To my horror, Naomi stapled her finger, I don't mean one finger to another I meant, she stapled a bullet into her finger, it bled pretty much and she was trying to stoically show her brave side, then jinwen brought her to wash her hand, and put a plaster. Then, Nigera waterfalls started, ok im exaggerating, but really I got real freaked. She started sobbing real hard, terribly hard, and I felt mumsy hugging her and stuff, she went out of class for awhile and Minghao comforted her, along with more hugs from me. Later, I played games with the other two, then Naomi came in with Minghao, and he was holdin the tutor assesment file. OH THE HORROR! just when my heart broke from seein Naomi cry, and realizing my class was crazy. I felt extremely depressed. The stuff they did ranged from one sitting on the chair to another on the table, and another on the floor. OH THE HORROR! and they refused to copy notes. I was oh so thankful that we ended the lessons on a pretty okay note.

However, I became rather upset after that, I know teaching isn't a one shot- you'll do it well experience, but honestly I was depressed, I didn't understand why and how. Had a short talk ok it wasn't exactly short, but yea i talked to minghao about it, and he gave some suggestions, so did samuel, when he talked to me. I felt and am feeling much better, I realised something, back then, I thought of what kind of teacher I wanted to be, I realised I didn't want it to be just a teacher student relationship but a friend friend relationship and thats what I forgot. I was so busy planning on how to deliver the lesson and making it fun, that I forgot this. I am going to be better next lesson, and my lovely students! YOU'D BETTER WATCH OUT ;DDD

THANK GOD :D

2008-01-26T01:01:00.000+08:00

THANKS BE TO GOD (:
IM SO THANKFUL! IM BEYOND THANKFUL.
i passed my emath which i haven't passed for 2 years,
and it isn't just pass its a B3!
omigosh! my emotions are pretty stilted, and i just started crying only.
but really. i passed my emath!
thank god!
& a big thank you to the friends who encouraged me and taught me,
jinwen, renette, erzi, qingwei, nigel, and of cos samantha too(:
& a bigger thank you to my cousin aloysius :D
& the biggest thank you to my family and my family in christ.
my dad for shouting with joy, for being there all these while encouragin me,
for my mum for wanting to go to school, to cheer with me, or to cry with me even though you haven't fully recovered.
and mama for waitin up late at night to see me home (:
and for my family in christ,
for the support frm my grandad and grandma, niang and all sisters and brothers (:
and mostly thank god!(:

2008-01-20T23:48:00.000+08:00

a poignant video with a huge impact.
this was what Jesus did for us!

2007-09-22T23:59:00.000+08:00

THE GREAT ESCAPE ; HIATUS

ELIZABETH is running away.
throwing it away. forgetting yesterday.
to solely mug on her o levels.
gonna tell my mum to lock or confiscate my computer.
HEART PAIN!
but still MUG MUG MUG.
im gonna make my new love mugging well apart from god.
hahha!
BOOKS I LOVE YOU ;DDD kissy kissy!

& samantha. (: YOU'RE COMING BACK.
4 DAYS. UBER LOVES.
CAN'T WAIT!

2007-09-21T22:23:00.000+08:00

im tired & frustrated.
im gonna mug like crazy now.
no more computer & relaxation for me.
i guess you win some & you lose some.
screw math!
urgh. & i don't need the pressure you gave today.
i feel awful enough. i don't want conviction.
its a horrid feeling you know.
its not like i feel happy or nonchalant about it!
& you aren't making me feel any better.
maybe its a reverse pyschology thingy to spur me to work harder
but eh it doesn't work for me.
it only adds salt into the wounds.

& to you. giraffe. im tired.
i have to take a little time
to try to work things out
you take & you don't give
your selfish pride
you're so hard to understand.

& to you.
so long & goodbye.
thanks for the bittersweet memories.

toodles till after o's
YAY MUGGING ;DDD
elizabeth LOVES MUGGING.
MUG MUG MUG MUG MUG!
BOUNCES!
heh! ;D

2007-09-20T22:22:00.000+08:00

TUESDAY
bio practical exam- celery and leaf testing thingy.
celery is so ewww. i mean im fine with veggies and sorts
cos i do like eating my greenies but celeries just make me go -ack!-
theres something about it that gives me a headache.
but then again it wasn't like as if consumption of celeries
was required for bio practical, but that doesn't explain how
i got a headache from the smell of celery. horrible.
anyway. experiment was kinda confusing as to how to cut & stuff like that.
but i'll pass by god's grace :D
hmmm. bought donuts after that for myself & family & rene. YUM.
donuts are love. but im kinda tired of them now. hahhha ;DD
went to library after that & did some teaching & squabbling. haha.
then home-d (: and studied for poa.

WEDNESDAY
poa mcq. BREATHED A HUGE SIGH OF RELIEF.
and went out of school.
went to tpy interchange to meet the a math people first (:
i went home to change since it was so near to my house.
thanks nigel for hash browns (: heh!
proceeded to 31 and took bus to east coast.
mars & hx left for home first after breakfast though.
then crapped. slept.
talked on the seemingly neverending bus ride.
walked and lamed with renette.
the guys were walking WAY IN FRONT.
(random! : touch me nots are so fun to play with )
hahas and renette and i walked down the mini staircase there
-arms linked.
& spoked bout hanging willow trees and getting married at a park LOL.
then down to rent bikes.
HEH.
thanks nigel for tompang-ing and for the hard work
( i know your legs were tired )
heh! and for treating me like a princess for a day or two
(: u were real nice! thanks.
& thnks joyce, shermaine, jw, rene, qw n er zi for the help.
i can ummm roughly cycle nw heh.
i know kinda pathetic i don't know how to cycle.
the only thing i cycled was a purple-pink tricycle when i was young
HAHA!
and eh vanessa lets jiayou.
hahhas coincendentally...
the china-bages n china-kens are learning at the same time!

at the pier where our kite was flying! ;D

at the pier - renette & i were looking at this guy's tanned bod.
HAHA! note renette looks umm interested while i look disgusted?
haa renette don't fa hua chi!

now back to the camera. hahhas! ;D

heh! went to buy drinks & ice cream.
nigel left his shoe bag there.
so went back.
he thought i fell asleep cos i was quiet all of a sudden.
f.y.i i was very much awake.
just that the view was too nice. and the breeze was cooling.
and och! its just so nice. ;DDD

went to the beach next. (:

climbing up to the quarry.
don't ask me whats this aunty pose of mine.
NIGEL! why did you take this. ahahha!

hei bai pei!

jinwen and i soaring & flying sorry.
birdy instincts kicked in haha!

TADA! we bid farewell.

exams stress causes THIS. you jump i jump!

qing wei hahahs.;DDDD LAUGHS!
he looks um adorable haha!

YAY US (: releasing tension.

full group shot pic.

& again.

they decided to start a sand burying competition.
and nigel ummm? i've know idea what his doing!

joyce, rene, n shermaine burying er zi's feet! hahaha

ooh qingwei can touch his toes. YAY! ;DD

Vanessa the cavewoman!

Cavewoman again! ;D

sand burying competition #2- nigel's turn.
hahhas yes we're childish

he walked out halfway cos he complained it was too hot.
thus we decided to decorate our 'mini mountain' :D

soaring, flying.

FLYING ;D more bird partners.

pushing vanessa into the water since
she said she don't mind gettin wet
cos she had extra uniform! ;D

pulling her out of the water or pushing her in? ;D
heh i can't tell.

#2 pushing her in again.

wading into the sea! ;DDD

hahhas.the non poseurs. the half poseurs.
& the full time poseur. (from left to right)

renette & i. the couple BWAHAHA.

the couple #2 wedding shot! ;DDD lol.

sandcastle. PRETTYAYE!

hahhas (: fun in the sun!

nice view ehs! makes it feels like o's are so far away.

emo kid. ER ZI! don't emo.
haha apparently he claimed he was drying his shorts
LOL

vanessa & i.

walking back.

and walking back.

goodbye east coast!

HEH. thanks lovelies for the lovely early bday celebration
& for shouting into the sea happy birthday.
thanks for making sweet 16 such a memorable one (:
& for all the laughter & presents & wishes. 19'07 remembered!

& to arthur,aloysius,belinda,bjorn,charlotte,cheekuan,
chenghao,david,davy,desheng,dexter,erzi, haoling,
huixin,jenetta,jinwen,jolyn,joy,joyce,kah ho, kaifeng,
kaih shen, kaining, kelly, kelly, marisa,mengkeat,
michelle chen, michelle lee, nigel, qingwei, rae, renette,
shermaine, sherman, simin, vallent, vanessa, violet,
yujun & zongbang. thanks for all the presents, cards & wishes.
LOVES!

& to family.
thank you family & extended family.
you guys made my bday such a great one today too.
loves you guys to bits!

family shots up some other time.
till then!

2007-09-13T22:43:00.000+08:00

got this email from dexter. cartoon's cute huh?
anyway this cartoon is so typical of our daily walk with god.
it has two messages that hit me hard.

#1:with the amount of stress and work we face in our daily lives,
we often feel weary & burn out,
moreover we have difficulty squeezing time in our already hectic lives.
Hence, we often compromise what we give to god.
eg. you are suppose to spend quiet time with god tonight and you are too tired
and you tell yourself and god, i'll do it tomorrow.
Just like in the cartoon, the cartoon man gave less to the lord when he got weary.

#2: We have difficulty juggling the events in our daily life.
Often we feel stress and pain.
However, if we see it from the perspective that we are doing it for god,
won't it be easier for us to carry the burdens.
and after all as the saying goes 'no pain no gain'.
Moreover God sees what we does, and rewards us twofolds.
Our god is a good god amen?

so today lets not be like the cartoon again and compromise god for our daily lives
and not endure the pain for god
after all god's grace is sufficient to get us through
for what jesus went through at calvary,
was a million fold more painful than what we go through.

2007-09-07T22:29:00.000+08:00

YIKES.
i think im gonna un-hiatus myself. BAD ELIZABETH D:
hmph.

anyways.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY RENETTE (:
hahas. glad you love the ballerina stand thingy.
oh i knew you would love it.
tralalas. ;DDD & the cake & the surprise at your doorstep. heee.
STAY SWEET sister!
YOU GO GIRL. knowing you has been such a blessing! all e best for o's!!
;DD n remember bird park after o's ok? hahas.

& to NIGEL. (un)HAPPY BIRTHDAY. HEE-HAW.
hee. nice shoes huh. ;DDD and aiyer you ungrateful monkey.
today let you kajiao til' you're happy. 1 day ONLY ok.
your permit has expired like now. hahas ((:
remember to train your contingents, i know you only have 1 now.
OOPS forgot those yoshinoya bowls you needed.
( you know what im talking about. LAUGHS ) anyways all the best :DD

so umm. papers have been kinda ok.
but why do i always think of the answers only AFTER i leave the hall.
thats so URGH!
but i feel ummm. emotionless.
like regardless whether i'll do well or not do well im fine with it.
is that the assurance from god?
hmmmm. anyways mugged today.
poa. in the morning with joyce, marisa, nigel and vanessa
& chem in the night with desheng & son.
;DDD more mugging now.

2007-09-06T14:09:00.001+08:00

rae chia and jenetta soo! YOU GUYS ARE EVIL can.
your blog disabled highlight function!
&& i can't copy and paste. HMPH ):
ohk. im gonna combine 2 together can? hahas ;DDD
here goes.

list out your top five birthday presents you wish for:
1. draw closer to god & to learn to discern god's voice
2. o level results : 12 for l1r5 (not deducting cca points)
3. new phone! my phone keeps dying on me PERIOD.
4. laughing gas :D
5. donuts from donuts factory ( minus the wasabi-cheese one puh-leeze D: )

answer the following questions
- the person who tagged me is: #1 Jenetta Soo Ying Wei (calls herself *ahem* PEACH)
#2 Rae Chia Rui Yi (loves roaring)
-your relationship with her is?:
#1 sisters! ;D ummm not in the biological way.
#2 buddies (:
-your five impressions of her:
(JEN!)
1. she's BHB ( did i mention that she LOVES saying " oh.im so adorable ;D )
2. she's pro in CHINESE. and real good in writing soppy cheena-ish stories.
3. has a thirst for learning all things art & crafty. i.e. angel clay, making cards etc.
4. over thinker. (meaning she thinks too much & thinks too far ;p)
5. mad hello kitty lover. HAHA!

(RAE!)
1. she's 1 cm taller than me ;DD
2. she's noisy & loud in a good way.
3. she loves eating :DDD since she always posts posts on food.
4. hmmmm. she enjoys having a good laugh.
5. & she likes changing her blogskins ever so frequently.

-the most memorable thing she did for you:
(JEN!)
hmmm. the chain thingy, with the cross, and the E keychain thingy on it :)
(RAE!)
hmmm. telling someone she'll kill someone if someone ever hurts me. ;D
you know what you wrote on that birthday card.

-the most memorable words she said to you:
(JEN!)I LOVE YOU!
(RAE!) I admit defeat. haha!

-if she becomes your lover you will.... (JEN & RAE)
run to IMH & check myself in permanently.
IM 100% straight & taken ok! ;D

-if she becomes your lover, things she will have to improve on will be.... (JEN & RAE)
the probablity of them becoming my lovers is 0/2 but then again they're perfectly fine.
its their imperfections that make them perfect! (:

-if she becomes your enemy, you will....
(JEN!)
throw bird dung into her room and hope *cross fingers* it lands SPLAT! on her hello kitties
XD jen! im kiddin ohkay!
(RAE!)
squish her shorter. so she will be 1 cm shorter than me ;DD

-if she becomes your enemy, the reason will be...
(JEN!)
if she deprives me the bird of eating her peaches! ahaha.
(RAE!)
if she ever posts on her blog one day that birds are delicious creatures. teehee.

-the most desired thing you want to do for her is...
(JEN!)
help her pass her EOY well.
(RAE!)
make her un-emo

-your overall impression of her.
they're LOVELY <3

-how do you think people around you will feel about you?
permanent air conditioner.
i freeze people with lame jokes everyday ya know ;D

-on the contrary,the character you hate about yourself is...
overly judgemental.
i judge people before i get to know them really well D:

the most ideal person you want to be with is...
no one at this moment.
umm maybe ideal qualities i'll have a long list ;p

for people that care & like you, say something to them.
' you are entitled to many UBER HUGS from elizabeth f.o.c
please present this coupon on the time of collection ' XD

pass this quiz to 10 people:
(i'll pass it to those untagged ones)

1. Mum.
2. Aloysius.
3. Michelle Chen.
4. Renette.
5. Marcus.
6. Michelle Lee.
7. Samantha (:
8. Yiling.
9. Chee Kuan.
10. Kah Ho.

-Who is no. 6 having a relationship with?
Not that i know of but then again she had better not.
Im fiercely protective of this cousin of mine ;D
she's 12. squeaks!

-Is no. 9 a female or a male?
100% male. and um.
* COUGHS * manly.

-If no. 7 & no.10 are together, will it be a good thing?
HMM. then again yes and then again maybe no.
but umm is kah ho straight?
he has a total tendency to give flying kisses to fellow guy pals.
but then again...
im not letting kah ho anywhere near beloved samantha ;DD

-How about no. 8 and number 5?
* GULPS * i don't know.
they are as different as chalk and cheese.

-What is no. 2 studying about?
Mechatronics (did i get that spelling right?)

-What is the last time you had a chat with no. 3?
JUST!

- What kind of music does no.8 like?
Both chinese & eng.
umm maybe more to chinese i think.

-Will you woo n0. 3?
HAHAS. no......
we co-exist better as sisters & lamers ;DD

-How about no. 7?
;DDD SHE'S HOT! hahas.
but no. she's the all time bestest but no.
she deserves a great guy you know.
HELLO PEOPLE. doing advertisment here.

-Is no. 4 single?
No she ain't.
she has a husband and a lover already.
TWO TIMER.
hmph!

-Whats the surname of no. 5?
ORANG UTAN. i mean Kwan ;DDD

-What is the name of no. 10?
Tan Kah Ho. & many other silly names i give ;P

-What is the hobby of no.4?
seducing her husband & lover!
ahaha. im kiddin.
ummm probably TV; those idol dramas.

-Do no.5 & no.9 hang out well together?
they clicked on the first day of school.
what more can i say.

-Where is no.2 studying at?
Singapore polytechnic

-Talked something casual with no. 1?
YEP. mummy knows everything.
:DD well almost!

-Have you ever tried developing feelings for no.8
haha. no. the thought of it freaks me out.
YIKES :x

-Where does no. 9 live at.
Toa Payoh.
(wanna stalk him. ask me for the block & unit no. AHAH!)

-Are no.1 & no.5 best friends?
L A U G H S. my mum & marcus.
it tickles my funny bones!

-Does no. 7 like no. 2?
perhaps she would as a friend IF she knew him

-How did you get to know no. 2
He's my cousin!!! ;DD

-Does no. 1 have any pets?
my mum? used to.

Is no. 7 the sexiest person in the world?
WHOA POPCORN IS HOT ;DDD
and she's lovely.
and she's the bestest her she could ever be!

-YAY. THE END ;DDD-

2007-08-29T21:28:00.001+08:00

E MATH PRELIM was and still is TOTALLY ATROCIOUS.
im going to go crazy lah. i did the first 5 or 6 qns of the paper.
and still breathed a sigh of relief,
because i agar agar knew how to do
& at least i didn't plainly flip through my paper back and forth
and scribble here and there like during mid year. ;DD
however from about question 6 - 11.
DIES! i was stuck at some questions. OH NO!
but i think i improved. hahas :DDDD so thank god for that.
i hope i'll pass. pretty please lord father, let me pass my e math!

chinese tomorrow. BAHHS.
i regret retaking it. oh wells decision made.
i'll try my best for it. going to relearn formats again.
i practically didn't touch chinese for 2 months plus. YIKES!

when your world crumbles, he'll be strong

2007-08-25T22:22:00.001+08:00

I was so scared of Jesus
But He sought me out
Like the cancer in my lungs
That's killing me now
And I've given up hope
On the days I have left
But I cling to the hope
Of my life in the next
Then Jesus showed up
Said "Before we go"
"I thought that we might reminisce"
"See one night in your life"
"When you turned out the light"
"You asked for and prayed for my forgiveness"

You cried wolf
The tears they soaked your fur
The blood dripped from your fangs
You said, "What have I done?"
You loved that lamb
With every sinful bone
And there you wept alone
Your heart was so contrite

You said, "Jesus, please forgive me of my crimes
Sanctify this withered heart of mine
Stay with me until my life is through
And on that day please take me home with you"

I can smell the death on the sheets
Covering me
I can't believe this is the end
I can hear You whisper to me,
"It's time to leave
You'll never be lonely again"

But this was my deathbed
I died there alone
When I closed my eyes tonight
You carried me home

- relient k (deathbed)

2007-08-24T22:13:00.000+08:00

im feeling stressed.
and highly bad tempered lately.
OH NO!
i think o level's stress are getting to me.
* SCREAMS *
realization has hit.
im takin my o levels this year!!!!
soon it'll be goodbye secondary school, hello next stage in life!
i know its kinda slow of me. haha! after goodness knows 8-9 months.
im struck by this huge bolt of lightning that has jolted me to reality.
&& prelims are on mon.
hyperventilates. all the best people! ((;

anyway pretty much nothing happened,
except for a pretty atrocious day on thursday,
but thank god i got through it!

thursday;

ss lesson - was fine, yes with xueyi to lame about with
and of course to study. mdm yong did give hints. HUGE HINTS!
and 'mdm yong never bluff you want' * does chicken flabby actions *
haha. inside joke.

english - more tips. and i just realised how much my eng compo standard has dropped.
i need to find the heart in my writing again.
sounds weird, but yes my writing is filled with my emotions. HAHA!
but im glad i've improved on my comprehension answering skills method.
yay!

recess-moodswings. saw red. like the bull thingy minus the fact that i did not heavily snort air from my nostrils. teehee :D

chem - mrs. loy got mad with me for no particular reason and started ranting at me when i asked a chemistry question. hmph but she apologised though :x

poa - mcq. dies! outram park paper is so so so so difficult. niang ! i need your help!

chem extra lesson - spent time breathing in chemicals and stuff. was so exhausted.i like the pink that phenolapthin gives!!! ;D
fuschia is hot.

geog till close to 5 - test. oh the horror! the test was pretty manageable. oh i love geography its just such a practical subject. but i was having a terrible headache from lack of food and sleep.

ice cream cheered me up though & gummies. GUMMY BEARS ARE LOVE!

friday;
SPCA! again. oh MASK IS LOVE. and so are huskies!

i've fallen in love with mask!!! he leapt up onto my lap. and placed his paw on my arm. and licked me. LOVES!!! hahas. thats about what made my day today && oh yes samantha too! hahas she's no pooch, but she's a dearest popcorn. thanks for your small talk. you never fail to make me smile ((:

birthday wishes

MICHELLE; hellos HOPOPO. its really belated wishes though i wished you over the phone. HAPPY SWEET 16! . hahas LOVE YOU SIS (; keep smiling with those little crinkly wrinkly eyes of yours. you're really fun to be with and you have a great personality which shines. god bless!

JOYCE; joyce :D it has been a blessing knowing you. glad to know that you were from tpy methodist too (; and you've been a great friend. thanks for the many smiles, laughter and cold jokes! all e best in all that you do. HAPPY SWEET 16 TOO (;

things to thank god for!

eng oral! it was weeks ago but yup. i really spoke like i've never spoken before. and even injected a extract of a would be conversation between a mum and a child. woah! thank god for the topic. about weather and stuff. thank god for mr. mark. geography really helped. thank god for the examiners, they were so friendly and funny and LAME! ohmy. && also the confidence and the assurance.

chinese results! B3(merit). kinda emotionless about this, oh wells gonna retake it, but thank god it wasn't overly badly done. merit for oral. woah. didn't expect that. thank god! (; i'll get an a the next time round!

till the september holidays then (:

2007-08-18T23:57:00.000+08:00

OH NO!
Prelims are in 1 week time.
but thankfully I've started dating my books already.
teehee :D and xueyi sonny, calls me a legendary nerd
HMPH!

oh wells. this week has passed by pretty fast.

last friday, went with michelle and wendolyn to marina square to study.
the macs there is way too CLASS! haha.
i sound like a country bumpkin but serious, i dig that macs!
anyways, MICHELLE IS REALLY LAME.
but she's fun to be with & wendolyn too!
she kept laughing. hahas. && michelle is just so nice to suan.
and thankfully we managed to drill into each other some chemistry stuff
- basically chromatography, ionic and covalent bonding, alkanes & alkenes, acids bases & salts.
YAY FOR US!! hahahs.
and i helped wend with 1 or 2 math question too, and i felt an immense sense of satisfaction can! its primary 6 maths but i still feel a sense of accomplishment. HAHA!
along the way we did lame stuff like

taking pictures of similar pencils.
one whole set of pilot rex grips 0.5 mechanical pencil.
black's wendolyn, purple's michelle, blue's mine.

doesn't michelle just look adorable
haha! i caught her on camera.
and michelle doesn't like her picture being taken!
YAY. kodak moment YES YES YES!

slacked through the weekend and
the week passed pretty quickly.

thursday- no supplementary lessons YAY (;
went home with cheekuan.
and with 2 orang utans by the name of marcus kwan and chin heng trailing behind us.
TSK. childish peeps. since they wanted to play, 4 could play a game well.
we sat down at one table, and moved on to another one every 10 seconds,
and they followed thinking that we were leaving.
HAHA!
and went between the market stalls,
strolled elsewhere, they lost cheekuan and they trailed me.
apparently they decided to give up as they thought i was going home.
hahahs. thought cheekuan left, didn't see him anywhere,
but saw him hiding behind the pillar,
and then ran behind the bank into the HDB estate,
marcus and chinheng followed behind,
chee kuan ran up and i ran past e units.
then finally they left us alone.
to go home in peace!

friday.
urgh. horrible event, but i just wish the appeal to remove mrs. loy wasn't written. i didn't sign it and she thinks i did! and thinks i humiliated her. i seriously didn't sign, i mean i mayn't always like her, but im notthat opposed to her to sign the petition you know! thanks dearest for the listening ear after that though.

oh wells. went to spca with qingwei, big mama, santa, vanessa & huixin after school.
the dogs were LOVE.

i think huskies are sexy in an intimidating way.
i know its weird. but seriously there was this dog called mask.
he had black fur around his eyes and the fur was in a pointy shape like a mask, thus his name and he looked fierce but attractive in a way.
then there was this dog called darren, he kept barking, and barking and barking.
he looked away, and when i called his name, he secretly looked at me. thats so endearing!
and vanessa kept scolding him. haha. i deduce she can't own dogs in future.
and another husky called keisha, bit my watch, and qingwei kept complaining that she bit his butt. hahaha! and he kept referring to his 'butt' as 'ass' which pretty much sounded obscene.

this dog called peanut loves biting shoelaces.
and he chewed on vanessa's shoelaces.
and vanessa kept screaming.
laughs! but it was pretty obedient.

and there was this dog whose name, i don't remember,
his plight was kinda sad, he probably doesn't know that he won't be going back to his owner.
he did the tricks that his previous owner had probably taught him to; standing on his hind legs,
and hoping for a pat.
it melted my heart.

sadly, my lack of affections for cats didn't change after the visit,
theres something freaky about cats that doesn't appeal to me.
but there was this really adorable kitten!
it kept sticking out its tongue ;P

i think the condition that spca is kept is pretty good.

when i turn 17 & i have the time i'll probably go volunteer.

anyway's tomorrow's miracle sunday (:
& FCBC 21st birthday.
happy 21st birthday :D

oh yes. speaking of birthday wishes.
happy birthday rachel
its been a blessing knowing you.
thanks for your jokes (which can be cold) hahas and for all the sisterly love.
may you grow in the lord.
and stay sweet (:

im back to date my books.
toodles!